3 End-of-year journal prompts

May I introduce you to Proust?

Whether or not you believe the Gregorian Calendar is a scam, the end of the year tends to provide a fair amount of…sitting…during which it can be really nice to gently open your journal (no judgment if your last entry was in January of last year) and spend some quality time with yourself.

It doesn’t have to be anything profound or life-changing, just some here-and-there thoughts about where you are right this minute, and where you’ve been since the beginning of 2023.

All the better if you can make yourself laugh!! Photo by Kevin Parada

Here are three low-stakes prompts that I enjoy for a chill year-end reflection sesh:

Proust Questionnaire

Since the beginning of my blog-writing career (starting with Xanga), I’ve posted the occasional update to my Proust Questionnaire answers. Marcel Proust used these questions as a party game, and now it’s known as a back-page celebrity profile in Vanity Fair Magazine.

A few of my favorite celebrity answers….

On what occasion do you lie? “Happy to be here.” (Rachel Maddow)

What’s your motto? Giggle and give in. (Robert Altman)

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? While in New York, tolerance. Outside of New York, intolerance. (David Bowie)

What is it that you most dislike? Wearing a wool sweater without a shirt. (Stephen Colbert)

What is your greatest regret? Not marrying Jeffrey sooner. (Ina Garten)

What is your greatest fear? I am petrified of bikini waxing. I had a very bad experience in 1978. (Arnold Schwarzenegger)

What is your idea of perfect happiness? This morning, with her, having coffee. (Johnny Cash)

If you could choose to come back as anything, what would it be? An exotic translucent marine organism writhing around orgiastically at the silent bottom of the sea. (Rick Owens)

What is your favorite journey? The question suggests a spiritual journey or even an exotic trip, but I get both of those when I go to a jazz performance. It not only delights my senses but it connects me to my ethnic culture in a deeply satisfying way. (Kareem Abdul-Jabbar)

Who are your heroes in real life? Everyone who gets up every day, puts on their boots or high heels, and gets to working on what they love to do. (Dolly Parton)

When and where were you happiest? Opening day of The Empire Strikes Back, 86th Street Loews. (Colson Whitehead)

Every year-ish, I answer it myself, trying as hard as I possibly can to be honest with my responses rather than cloyingly strive for wit and uniqueness! I exchanged the Questionnaire with one of my best friends a few months ago so these are my totally genuine answers, tweaked only slightly to reflect a changed state-of-mind since the summer:

What is your idea of perfect happiness? Eating some lemony fish dish and drinking white wine by the sea
What is your greatest fear? Body failure
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? Zeal of the converted
What is the trait you most deplore in others? Lack of curiosity
Which living person do you most admire? At the moment: A man I met on a retreat who is reforesting the Muir Woods, and taught himself gardening when he was 13 as a way to avoid gang involvement
What is your greatest extravagance? Groceries and restaurants
What is your current state of mind? Determined
What do you consider the most overrated virtue? Knowledge
On what occasion do you lie? Pedro Almodóvar, one of my great heroes, once said that all writers greatly embellish their life experiences as a way to dramatize their existence and make themselves seem more interesting to others. Let’s just say I relate.
What do you most dislike about your appearance? Lack of angles
Which living person do you most despise? So many people come to mind. Let’s go with the person responsible for breeding sheep who never stop growing hair.
What is the quality you most like in a man? Humility
What is the quality you most like in a woman? Joie de vivre
Which words or phrases do you most overuse? OMG
What or who is the greatest love of your life? New York, historically
When and where were you happiest? A beige, windowless conference room in which I checked my email and received a favorable reply from my future agent
Which talent would you most like to have? Singing voice
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? I’d be able to wake up earlier
What do you consider your greatest achievement? Significantly changing my perspective and way of going about life in general
If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be? Some old man living on an olive orchard in Spain
Where would you most like to live? In an apartment with a garden, with my own animal sanctuary upstate
What is your most treasured possession? Just all my little tchotchkes
What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery? Listening to someone chew
What is your favorite occupation? Cooking alone
What is your most marked characteristic? Speaking voice that spans millions of octaves in one sentence, probably irritating
What do you most value in your friends? Honesty about themselves
Who are your favorite writers? Anyone who is honest about themself
Who is your hero of fiction? Matilda
Which historical figure do you most identify with? Anne Frank
Who are your heroes in real life? Anyone who is quietly making decisions in alignment with values I really admire; I wouldn’t know who they are because they are quiet about it!
What are your favorite names? Hakkan, Coriander
What is it that you most dislike? Mayonnaise
What is your greatest regret? Not sticking up for a hotel receptionist when someone was yelling at her
How would you like to die? While listening to soul and having my feet rubbed
What is your motto? Little by little

I would really, really love to hear some (or all!?) of your answers!!

All your best failures

Usually I write elaborate lists of my favorite failures of the year:

Failures of 2022

Failures of 2021

But this year, every failure comes back to a common theme: being a human.

“How was the wedding!!??” I’ve been asked 9,000 times in the past couple months, to which I can only really answer… “Human!”

I failed at being the world’s chillest bride, as I wanted so desperately to be, and that was human. I was stunned by the oversaturation of joy my body could withstand as I saw my loved ones when I entered the room, and that was also human. I was far too susceptible to the Mari-tini signature cocktail, and that was human, and I have never enjoyed a plate of fish more, and that was human.

STRAINING to be the chillest girlie, with world’s best hairdresser Reagan

I’m a human trying to figure out this earth place, and that’s a full-time job. It comes with a LOT of failures, and all my greatest achievements are moments when I’m simply enjoying myself.

I’m still even figuring out my own human mind as I experiment with a cocktail of medications for all my faulty wiring and confusing outbursts, and even with all that help, I still fail at fully understanding myself.

I’m still figuring out other humans as I mess up with relationships I figured were on auto-pilot, and realized that I still have a lot to learn about showing up for others.

I failed at most of my resolutions from last year, but in that beautifully funny human way, I succeeded wildly at ones I didn’t even think to make.

What kind of year was it? A human year. And all the failures and glories that go into that.

Did you have a favorite failure this year?

Word of the year

Choosing a Word of the Year has become my favorite New Year tradition (besides painting my nails in glitter) and my process of finding it—or, oooOOOoo, letting it find me—begins around October.

My annoyances, hopes, and admirations begin coalescing toward a theme that will mitigate my frustrations and boost my goals.

I usually like this word to be fun and juicy, like the ‘gorgeous’ or ‘luscious’ of previous years. Looking back, I tend to choose words that give me a lot of leeway, words that let me off every hook I find myself on.

But in 2024, it’s time to get down to business.

After complaining about my work not being taken seriously, I questioned myself, Do I take my work seriously? After coming to another end-of-year with vague goals unaccomplished (the evergreen be a better friend, drink less, get stronger, volunteer more), I questioned, “How dedicated was I to accomplishing those?”

Then I realized how often I think I can ‘get away with’ slip-ups, as though I can fool myself into believing my aspirational identity.

Whenever I keep a wellness journal, I don’t bother to add the cheeky last cocktail or the, woops, sundae I ordered last Saturday at midnight. When I take an online exercise class I’ll tend to skip the boring middle part and fast-forward to the end for a sense of completion.

I’m not always as involved with a cause as I like to believe I am, and when I say “I’m writing,” that usually means “I’m thinking about writing.” I tell myself “I’m involved in my community,” “I’m a dancer,” “I have a healthy relationship with my phone,” but if I looked at all the evidence for and against those statements, it would get sloppy.

I’m not always accountable to myself, so I’m not an easy person for myself to trust.

Then I thought about people I really admire right now, people who are committed to their craft, steadfast in their objectives, and monogamous with their passions. And the not-very-fun, but very-much needed theme came to its annual crescendo:

DEVOTION.

I will be devoted in 2024.

I always like to scrutinize the etymology of any word I choose, and hoped that ‘devotion’ would have some surprising origin that I could use as symbolic fodder (like how ‘companion,’ one of my long-ago words, has its origins in ‘bread.’ Cute, huh?).

But no, it’s pretty straightforward. To dedicate. To make sacred. To consecrate.

How can I consecrate every part of my life, especially my hopes and dreams for the next several months? What would it mean to ‘make sacred’ my book-writing, art-making, retreat-leading, and human-being experience over the next year?

I’m getting a head start as I wrap up a year of increased physical fitness. During the torturous parts of class when I don’t think I can possibly hold this squat another second, I say, ‘I’m devoted to my body. I’m devoted to this.’

And you know what!? It helps!!

I suppose one bonus point for the word devotion is that our word ‘vow’ is nestled in there, and now that I’ve taken marriage vows, I feel qualified to make other vows.

I’d like to lean into the full corniness of making a vow to my book, for example, or a vow to the evergreen abstract goals I listed above. If I take a sacred vow, how will it change my approach to the task at hand? And does it mean I get to wear more veils? Because I really love wearing veils.

Word (phrase!) of the Year in 2022 and a mid-year update

Word of the Year in 2021

Now what’s yours??

ANNOUNCEMENTS FOR 2024!

OMG I am looking forward to such an eventful year and would love to meet some of you along the way!!! Here’s what’s coming up!

ART SHOW, MARCH 7, NEW YORK CITY

Come one, come all!!! I am having my first (!) NYC art show at a wonderful community art gallery, which will be up for most of March and April. But you’re invited to the free opening party, which will be on Thursday, March 7th at 6:30pm! There will be food, drink, New-York-themed art, and me wearing a tutu (or something to that effect). Mark your calendars and come say hello!

The desk of someone who decided to make 30 unique pieces of wool art plus go to Mexico to write a whole book within the next three months

RETREAT, MAY 17-19, NORTH CAROLINA

I am thrilled to return to the Art of Living Retreat Center for another special soulful weekend of writing and art-making, this time around the theme of Your Sacred Story: Transform Your Life Experiences Into Writing & Art. This is for anyone who’s ever been told, “You should write a book!” (or anyone who’s told themself that ;) but doesn’t know where to begin, or just needs extra guidance with the art of memoir. You can either draw or write your way through this retreat, or both! ALL levels welcome, invited, supported, and appreciated. MORE INFO AND REGISTRATION HERE!

This is exactly what it looks like at Art of Living in the mornings. Scrumptious!

RETREAT, JUNE 16-21, WYOMING

I can’t even believe this is my life, but I get to lead a week-long retreat in northern Wyoming where we’ll stay in luxury glamping tents, eat beautiful local food prepared by a local chef, ride horses out to canyons with CAVE DRAWINGS IN THEM, and, oh yeah, write and make art!!

The theme is Writing Inner and Outer Landscapes (or you can draw, if you prefer!) so we’ll be focusing on the concept of PLACE, so we’ll…
-looking for a sense of place in our creativity, around feelings of belonging, displacement, otherness, and longing
-write or draw significant settings from memory
-hone the art of noticing and appreciating what's surrounding us
-explore themes of home, language, culture, and identity
-use sacred surroundings as an entry point to creative work

MORE INFO AND REGISTRATION HERE!

Here’s the campsite eating situation, and word has it all the tents are next to a BABBLING CREEK. You might just have to leave me there forever. Bye!