Everything I Loved in February
Being a "bridge person," Ukrainian gifts, and an ambitious water bottle
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RETREAT: BUILDING CREATIVE MUSCLE
June 6-8, 2025 in Rhinebeck, New York
I’ll be at Omega Institute (for the first time!) teaching a brand-new workshop all about “getting in shape for a creative life.” Think of it as going to the Creativity Gym and getting a bootcamp workout! If you’re completely out of creative-shape or would like guidance creating a sustainable “personal training” plan for your work (this is just the BEGINNING of the metaphor, by the way :), you are so welcome to join us here! It will be messy, creative fun in a peaceful town at a stunning time of year.
Getting There: Easy peasy from NYC! Take the Amtrak from Moynihan Station to Rhinecliff, and from there is a 15-ish-minute taxi to Omega.
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I realize we’re knee-deep in March, but it’s time to review February.
Time got very smudgy for me toward the end of February, so when I saw an auspicious “1” on my phone’s calendar, I actually thought, “Oh, it’s February 1st?” Then I surprised myself by realizing there was no other possibility but for it to be March, which is the most hopeful month I can think of. It’s all damp sidewalks and fecund mud, which means that daffodils are quickly upon us. I love how anticipatory it feels.
Not to mention all the smelly greenness, and the soft contemplativeness of Lent and Ramadan! A juicy, rich, revelatory few weeks.
February was a pleasantly chaotic month in the Mari Household. My book publishing date was moved up to July 15, which put me in a tizzy working on some fun art for the release (hint: it involves LOTS of needle-felted critters).
Much more on the book later—you’ll be very sick of it by July—but let’s focus on everything else I loved in February for now….
WONDERFUL FRAGRANT THINGS
Quinoa Banana Bread
My life is a constant cycle of forgetting that banana bread exists, then remembering and getting very excited again.
This time I remembered when I walked by a grocery bag on the sidewalk filled with bunches of browning bananas and a sign that said FREE!! WE ACCIDENTALLY BOUGHT TOO MANY!
Who among us hasn’t been there?
Gleeful and grateful, I took a medium-sized bunch, to find them drooped over in old-age the next day. This is the part where I remember banana bread exists.
It was a new baking adventure for me this time, though, as I recalled a years-ago addiction to banana-quinoa muffins from Smile To Go, which I mentioned in my Grub Street Diet with high hopes I would receive a vat of them (never happened).
I found this glorious quinoa banana bread recipe (by typing in my search bar “quinoa banana bread recipe”) and dare I say improved upon it by swapping the eggs for a half-cup of apple sauce and the melted butter for olive oil. Fluffy, nourishing flavors erupted. And the smell! Nothing quite like it.
Except perhaps for…
A Beauty Bath
I learned about the concept of “a beauty bath” in February, which is to say, a bath with lots of nice stuff in it.
I got in a luxurious habit of drawing my baths with layers of products, like a big stew. Now keep in mind I live in New York so of course my bath is small, barely functional, and has a permanent creamsicle-colored ring of God-knows-what lining the interior…so we have to use our imaginations when we talk about “luxury.”
Fortunately, these elixirs are here to help:
*Magnesium bath soak, flaky as salt shards from French shores (marketed for pregnancy, but I doubt there’s a rule about that)
*Bath milk, which I only just heard of and have trouble imagining the purpose of, but it’s an exceptionally sweet feeling to pour thick milky mystery potion into your bath
*Bath oil, which is bafflingly-priced for another mysterious product, but worth it for drizzling your water with a grand finale finisher as though it’s a platter of crostini
Hey, I’m not drinking these days and most food makes me sick; I have to get my pleasures somewhere!
BEAUTIFUL READS
The Outside Boy
Reading this book was the Sunday-afternoon-on-the-sofa equivalent of whatever the hell bath milk is. It felt so good to read, like ladling nutritious broth to my lips or taking a long restorative yoga class.
I’m happy to be transported to Ireland any day of the week, but being transported to this particular mystic boy’s world within Ireland felt very special and privileged.
I generally struggle to get into novels, but I took this on a trusted recommendation by another novel-struggler, and treasured my time in it.
Being a Bridge
A darling reader of this very newsletter recommended this essay, which encourages “bridge people” into “bridge work:”
A bridge person is a person who intentionally crosses boundaries, ideological divides, and difference as a regular practice; their existence and activity materializes a strand of connectivity where there was previously only ever a void, ill feelings, or conflict. A bridge person chooses to go there, even in the face of danger or failure, yet forges ahead armed with wilder visions of more humane possibilities. A bridge person is in possession of the wherewithal, whether through spiritual and emotional fortitude, sheer will, or material privilege, to plunge into situations ripe for disagreement, even attack.
A bridge person strategically presents something of themselves that is recognizable and reflected in the person they are trying to bridge, even if all it is is a shared humanity and the ability to love. In this context of climate catastrophe and extreme inequity ushered in by the machinations of late capitalism, we need more people to do bridge work and be bridge people…
A bridge person is someone who organizes outreach to immigrant sex workers, who are doubly plagued by being forgotten by society and by being targeted by police raids. A bridge person is someone who identifies as a hardcore leftist and enjoys having ongoing conversations, full of compassion and curiosity, with their pro-Trump family members and neighbors. A bridge person is someone who creatively bares their most vulnerable thoughts and experiences in order to offer peace and comfort to others in challenging times, even though they are always terrified of being called out or judged. A bridge person is a queer minister whose life work is helping churches become more inclusive and offering loving counsel to queer people, even as they themselves are still healing from their own religious trauma.
A bridge person is a former-KKK member who stays planted in a white nationalist community to build lifelong relationships and change minds over the course of years. A bridge person is a writer who puts out work about their shame, their violation of taboos, their not-enoughness (or too-muchness) to help others feel less alone. A bridge person is someone who bridges not for self gain or promotion, but does it without fanfare because they know they can’t wait for anyone else to do it.
I’ve been taking this assignment seriously, and my interactions are richer for it. Are you a bridge person? How so??
DICTATORSHIP CONTENT
Forgive the flippancy, but if I don’t stay light, I will crumble under the weight of my tears.
After visiting the Human Rights Museum in Santiago and reflecting at this very moving memorial to the victims of the Chilean dictatorship, I wanted to learn more about life in such dreadful times.
Seeing the internationally-lauded Brazilian film I’m Still Here in theatres was a no-brainer, but I’m embarrassed and sorrowful to say that I found it verrrrry tedious to watch after the first part which was an exciting slice-of-life in 70s Rio.
I rewatched The Lives of Others, which always places me on the edge of my seat, saw for the first time My Brothers and Sisters in the North about daily life in North Korea and No about the advertising campaign that took down the dictator in Chile!
But my favorite past and present is Goodbye Lenin!, which I only just remembered after seeing the lovely Monica Barbaro list her four favorite films.
I saw it in the cinema with my mom when I was 16 and couldn’t believe movies could be like that. Film is my absolute favorite medium—above books, theatre, and music even!—and I think this dark comedy had a lot to do with that early enanorment.
Speaking of film, I’ve completely re-fallen-in-love with the experience of going to an independent movie theatre. Think: creaky seats with frayed upholstery, popcorn that actually comes in a legitimately small bag (not the gigantic small size at AMC), an endearing animation at the beginning of the movie reminding you to buy concessions, and a career cinema worker behind the ticket booth who openly judges you based on your pick.
I was devastated to learn that one of my favorite refuges on planet earth, E Street Cinema in DC, was closing. In my single, often painful, usually chaotic 20s, that space was a reliably happy safe place where I could always go to feel grounded and inspired—with a pleasant bus ride home. I already miss it terribly even though I haven’t been in years. Support these special places if you love them!
UKRAINIAN-MADE DELIGHTS
Shopping my way out of despair
Immediately after that disgusting public display of grotesque meanness toward the president of Ukraine, I sunk into the quicksand of dread and inaction—as I do when a news story pierces my heart which is usually manned with optimistic security guards.
When I feel myself doom-drowning, I know I have to take small actions to fuel myself for this marathon, which yes does include mixing metaphors.
I thought to take myself to the Ukrainian Museum and buy my way out of stuckness by giving Ukrainian makers a tiny boost at their gift shop (I stocked up on these cards, and bought the paper dolls for kid pals).
A couple days later, I received a package from Ukraine (with a lovely handwritten note!) and realized that I’d unknowingly purchased a mobile from a Ukrainian maker on Etsy.
That led me to look at more Etsy stores based in Ukraine, and finally put me at my final destination, Gunia Project. HO-LY COW! Curated by friends from Kyiv who found refuge in Berlin, it showcases Ukraine’s most effulgent handmade wares.
I haven’t made any Gunia purchases yet because it is quite pricey, but if Elon Musk has a lobotomy and then divides his wealth to everyone in the U.S. instead of…whatever he’s doing here…I will be buying:
*EVERY ONE OF THESE gorgeous ceramic pieces wow wow wowwwww
*these goblets (tragically, I do not own a single goblet)
*precious works-of-art candles
*this extremely fun choker
*this joyous headscarf (or this one, with baby-Jesus-as-tiger?)
*a magnificent blouse (could double as a chic Seinfeld Halloween costume)
RENTALS OF THE MONTH
Because I’m saving money for my future goblet collection, I continue to exclusively rent clothes and had some fine luck this month!
Actually—wait, no—I ended up buying this coat (used!) because I got so many compliments on it: