My Guide to NYC

Mini itineraries for a non-exhausting trip to New York

“I like New York but I wouldn’t want to live there.”

I’ve heard this 5 billion times since I moved here five years ago (and decided I wanted to move here 20 years ago). It’s almost a reflex:

“I’m thinking of moving to New—“

“I LIKE NEW YORK BUT I WOULDN’T WANT TO LIVE THERE.”

I understand that people get defensive about popular things that they don’t find palatable; this is how I feel about any TV or movie franchise starting with the word “Star.”

But what confuses me is that visiting New York is always kind of awful, but living here is wonderful! I wouldn’t want to visit New York but I would want to live here.

Visiting New York involves all the worst things about New York: navigating dreaded Penn Station and midtown, not knowing where you're going, getting stuck in a crowd, waiting for a nonexistent subway, and accidentally eating sub-par pizza.

So, my solution is to visit as if you already live here, and I'm offering seven one-day itineraries to help you do that! These are my personal dream days in New York, organized by neighborhood:

A BOHEMIAN INTELLECTUAL ARTSY VIBEY DAY IN THE EAST VILLAGE

Even though I no longer live in the East Village, it will always be my New York home. I fell in love with the city through the punky gritty colorful area that feels like the West Village's offbeat sister, the Judy Funnie of neighborhoods. It's an inchoate mess of comic book shops, tattoo parlors, dark candlelit bars, grubby dives, jazz clubs, stray basketballs dribbling into the street, and pages of poetry left on cafe tables. Bring your beret.

Strolling through the East Village, by Christine Han

Morning

I'd spend my last morning on earth wandering the blocks of the East Village. It stuns on an early weekday, abuzz with the energy of an adult Sesame Street: the owners of bodegas, crystal shops, and rubber stamp stores greet each other as they open, and psychics and musicians mingle at cafes. It feels like a preserved part of NYC, relatively untouched by wealth and development, like a magical punk rock snow globe amidst shiny new high-rises.

For breakfast I'd have blintzes at Veselka, the iconic Ukrainian diner across from my old apartment on 9th Street. Then I'd wander over to Tompkins Square Park, where I want my ashes scattered in the daffodil field, and watch the dogs play and the New Orleans jazz band warm up. I'd bring a book to pretend I was reading on a bench as I observe the chess and basketball players and make silent bets on who will win. (Russian Doll is a great show that captures the spirit of the East Village and especially Tompkins Square Park magnificently).

Veselka blintzes

Afternoon

I'd wander up and down 2nd Avenue and check out every side street from 1st Street through 13th. I'd buy a journal at the Japanese stationery store and then go have the Middle Eastern Breakfast at Cafe Mogador, which is just flawless vibes.

I'd spend some time on St. Mark's Place (heaven on a quiet weekday, hell on a Friday night) and then wander to Book Club, a wonderful bookstore and cafe where I usually write this newsletter on Sundays. :)

Evening

Have a tipple at The Immigrant, my favorite bar in all of New York. The owner: so nice. The lighting: impeccable. The setting: intimate and cinematic.

Walking to The Immigrant, by Christine Han

For a fancy meal, go to the coziest restaurant in NYC, Hearth, and PLEASE order the bread and butter. For a casual dinner, wander over to Avenue C and visit homey Serbian restaurant Kafana or fun Brazilian spot Esperanto (which sometimes has live flamenco music!).

Then, see what's going on tonight at gay cabaret bar Club Cumming. Then have a late-night cocktail at hidden jewel Lovers of Today, a tiny vampy dark speakeasy that plays soul music and makes a fabulous Negroni.

Me and friend Kim, summering in the East Village

A ROMANTIC FAIRYTALE WHIMSICAL DAY IN NOLITA/LOWER EAST SIDE

If you came to New York to feel like the main character in your own show about a chaotic but lovable protagonist just looking for love and labels in the big city, then look no further than Nolita, a sweet sticky bun of a neighborhood that inspired one of my favorite New York anthems (put this on as you're twirling down Elizabeth Street in your tutu).

Morning

The best thing about New York is that you can have so many different experiences of the city, and create your own experience and little world within it. I've moved and traveled a lot and I've never felt this so profoundly as I do in NYC. If you're turned off by the aggressiveness and masculine energy of much of Manhattan, Nolita offers a darling tree-lined haven that softens up the borough. If an American Girl Doll wanted to make New York her own, she'd start her day in Nolita.

And I'd start it at Black Seed Bagels, where I'd get the Mari Special: a salt bagel with plain cream cheese, a bottle of grapefruit juice and a coffee. I'd enjoy them on the bench outside and hum Vanessa Carlton to myself.

You can have a lovely walk from there up Elizabeth Street. Wander through the magical garden where you can pretend you're in the courtyard of a French estate, and then you can go work on your novel in the cafe area of McNally Jackson Books.

Afternoon

Have lunch RinTinTin, where I used to take myself out for dinner whenever I'd visit New York before I lived here. When eating alone, I usually sit at the bar, and this place has a particular good one for solo dining.

Now you're fueled up to head over the Lower East Side, where you'll want to schedule a one-hour tour of the super interesting Tenement Museum in advance. You can choose which recreated home you'd like to visit of Jewish, Puerto Rican, German, and Italian immigrants from the late 1860s-1980s.

Then, caffeinate yourself at Ludlow Coffee (and say hi to my old apartment right above it) so you'll be clear-headed for a shopping adventure to Assembly NY, November 19, and the Susan Alexandra store.

Exploring the Lower East Side on a rainy day, by Carol Wild

Evening

Take a quick trip to Paris at Bar Belly, a narrow boisterous oyster-and-cocktail bar with live French music and an enchanting atmosphere.

Then walk to Cervo's for luscious Portugese food in velvet booths with warm lighting and chic-people-watching.

A DREAMY CONTEMPLATIVE COZY SWEATER DAY IN PARK SLOPE

I doubt most people who come to NYC for a couple days would fit quiet, residential Park Slope, Brooklyn into their schedule, but maybe that's why so many people claim they'd never want to spend more time here. Before I moved to Park Slope, I thought it was a little...embarrassing. It's known as the Stroller Capital of NYC, a far cry from the bustle of the East Village which I strongly identified with.

A friend and former Park Slope resident corrected me: "It's my favorite place I've ever lived in New York," she said. "It's like pajamas. It's a bubble bath. It's hot chocolate."

It was all that and more for me, a soft floral oasis where I always felt overjoyed to come home to. It's not as sparkling as other neighborhoods, but it's soothing, and I recommend it as a sorbet palate cleanser on your trip to NYC if you need a Sabbath for your senses.

Me and the Divine in Park Slope, by Carol Wild

Morning

Take a coffee from the extremely charming Cafe Regular and walk through Prospect Park, the enormous wild counterpart to the more manicured Central Park.

Prospect Park is a spiritual sanctum for me, and a place where I can deeply connect to Earth and animals, and collect their lessons. It has thick woods, an enchanted waterfall, a rushing river, and a great lawn where you might get bonked in the head by a frisbee and it will have been worth it.

The designer of Prospect Park (same guy as Central) was influenced by his dancer wife, who encouraged him to make paths that align with the natural movement of the human body. When you're walking around, you might notice that the paths move as intuitively as you do, and that's on purpose. For this reason, Prospect Park feels like a beacon of feminine intuition that I vibe very hard with.

I’ve also had profound revelations at the small lovely Prospect Park Zoo, which I joke is more like a city park because it only houses small animals (think: porcupines) that don't suffer in captivity (It’s a woke zoo). It’s meditative to walk around while listening to goats bleat and chipmunks squeak.

Contemplating in Prospect Park

Afternoon

Have lunch outside at Zatar; bring a book or journal and linger for hours on an idyllic tranquil street lined with Victorian brownstones.

If you can't get enough brownstones, stroll up and down 6th Avenue. Then take the pleasant walk to the sprawling Green-Wood Cemetery, which is almost as lush as Prospect Park...but first stop at teeny tiny Terrace Books, which always has something you didn't know you were looking for.

Evening

There's nothing trendy about Park Slope restaurants, which is exactly why you'll like it. Start the early evening at the glimmering Saint Eve's Cocktail Bar, which plops you into an emporium of elegance.

Then take it down a notch at Pasta Louise, the perfect neighborhood restaurant. It's so perfect it looks like it should be the set of a friend group's regular haunt on a sitcom rather than a real establishment.

If you’re having dinner on a Saturday, it’s worth it to go out of your way to Lot 2, a no-frills diner that only serves dinner on Saturdays between 5-9. Everything on the small simple menu is incredible, and after going every single weekend when I lived in the neighborhood, it's become my all-time favorite meal. If you have to wait for a table, go to nearby Sea Witch, a nautical themed bar with a delightful garden.

Go to a show at tiny Barbès, which is like being transported to a cave bar in Berlin. Despite being sort of removed from everything, it somehow attracts a fabulous international crowd.

Feeling European at Barbès, by Carol Wild

A CULTURED ACADEMIC TORTOISE-SHELL-GLASSES-WEARING DAY ON THE UPPER WEST SIDE

The Upper West Side is another "pajamas" neighborhood, especially because the coziest movie ever made (You've Got Mail) was filmed up here, and specifically portrayed to look like a small town. The Upper West Side is indeed "the small town" of New York, but also serves as a grand backdrop for a trove of museums and arts venues. This is where you can put on your thick glasses, tote your portfolio, and become an Art Professor for a Day...and maybe pick up a cozy pumpkin latte while you're at it.

Morning

The thing about the Upper West Side is that it's as wacky as it is refined. Imagine a kooky ceramics teacher with frizzy grey hair who wears big chunky earrings, zigzag design cardigans, coral lipstick, and black designer stiletto boots...and that's how I picture the UWS personified.

In that spirit, you should probably go to a diner for breakfast to get a sense of the quirk. The marvelous Roz Chast recommends Westside Restaurant or Utopia Diner. I'd go to Miriam for something less diner-y; Kathleen Kelly from You've Got Mail would go to Cafe Lalo. Choose your own adventure.

Take the 72nd Street entrance (right by The Dakota) into Central Park, and follow Terrace Drive to Bethesda Terrace, which spreads out beautifully in the middle of the park. Most likely, you'll hear a talented musician fill the plaza with songs, such as Carlos the guitarist. People-watching is wonderful here!

Afternoon

I could spend years at the Museum of Natural History, but it can get unbearably crowded. The New York Historical Society is a a much more relaxing museum; I particularly love the Tiffany Lamp Room—another place where I could spend years. So many museums, so little me!

If you're exhausted from looking at Tiffany lamps and need some rejuvenation, book a facial with Laura at Heyday Upper West Side; tell her Mari sent you.

Culturing myself on the Upper West Side

Evening

I've always had a thing for the Mermaid Inn; there's just something really special about it. A fun touch is that they give complimentary chocolate pudding and a fish fortune teller after every meal.

Get chocolate chip cookies (the size of your face) for late night dessert from Levain Bakery, and buy tons of bags for the folks at home if you want to buy your way into love.

A MOODY RAINY LITERARY DAY IN THE WEST VILLAGE

The West Village is undoubtedly the most romantic neighborhood in New York, certainly the best place to wander the streets if you're looking to fall in love with the city and call it your boyfriend a la Carrie Bradshaw (whose apartment you can find at 66 Perry Street). If you find yourself with a moody grey day and you're a person who romanticizes moody grey days, take yourself to the West Village and luxuriate in its seductive old NYC essence.

Morning

When you wander into the West Village, you go through a portal into another time that you can't quite put your finger on. 60s? 80s? The future? There's a dreamlike quality to the West Village that is most likely best enjoyed on a crisp fall day, but I'll allow a summer exploration of the neighborhood too (just try to time it with a thunderstorm).

Start off with a cappuccino and cannoli at Caffe Reggio, a flawless Italian cafe that claims to have served the first cappuccino in America, which...sure? It's Greenwich Village's oldest coffeehouse and the antique furniture reflects its history.

Walk through the surprise-around-every-corner Washington Square Park, but first watch Pose to place it in context.

Afternoon

You must go to postage-stamp-sized restaurant Tartine for lunch; it will make you fall head-over-heels with NYC if you're not there already. In Sarah Jessica Parker's 73 Questions interview, she described New York as "tiny," which I loved, because it's so true. There's such limited space in such a large city that everything feels cramped and small, forcing intimacy and magical encounters. Tartine is the perfect place for such moments.

Then, if I were you, I'd treat myself to an hour of bliss at Perry Street Reflexology. I looooove having my feet rubbed, and this is the best foot massage I've ever had in the history of ever ever ever. It's just so good. At the end, they tell you what they noticed in your feet, which of course are the map for your whole body. "Hm, your left shoulder seems to be a bit tense, your throat hurts a little, your nose is stuffy." It's like a clairvoyant reading but you get a foot rub out of the deal, on a brocade couch with dozens of pillows.

The Whitney is totally worth it if you're feeling a museum: enjoy being in the presence of Edward Hopper, Georgia O’Keeffe, Jacob Lawrence, and Jasper Johns for a couple hours and check out the exhibitions of the moment.

Have a coffee or cocktail at Zinc Bar, especially if you're there on a Sunday and can catch live bossa nova in the afternoon. I've had transcendent experiences doing just that.

Evening

Hit up my favorite jazz bar Small's for a phenomenal show in a tiny (theme of this day) space—this would be a truly lovely way to spend an evening.

OR (and??) put your name down at Via Carota, a spectacular Italian restaurant where you will be transported into another realm with every bite you take, and you're likely to see a celebrity (Anna Wintour and Jake Gyllenhaal were two recent Via Carota sightings for me).

While you're waiting for your table, grab at drink at slinky old-timey Little Branch.

Surveying the bounty at Via Carota

Later, I'm begging you to visit Marie's Crisis, a showtunes piano bar, and have the time of your life. My pastor describes Marie's as a sacred holy place in the city: a haven for so many people from all over the world who felt abandoned by their families of origin and came to New York to find a new family. Marie's is a safe, joyful haven for folks from all walks of life, and you'll get to sing your favorite showtunes with all of them.

A VINTAGE CLASSIC TRENCH-COAT-AND-SUNGLASSES ICONIC CINEMATIC DAY ON THE UPPER EAST SIDE

The Upper East Side is still mostly an enigma to me, but it certainly captures the quintessence of an aspirational version of New York that can be so fun to try on for a day. Don your camel coat, bring out your finest fake pearls, and stroll with me:

Morning

You're on your own as far as breakfast, but get a coffee at Ralph's in the Ralph Lauren network of stores on Madison Avenue. I don't care if you don't care about Ralph Lauren. I don't either. Please visit the men's store and prepare your jaw to drop. It's unreal. I'm talking: fireplaces in the dressing rooms. I'm talking: ties laid out like candies. I'm talking: palace-level art displays on every floor. This is one of my favorite museums in NYC and it's not a museum.

Afternoon

But, there are actual museums on the Upper East Side and, let's face it, you need to go. I highly suggest visiting The Met on a rainy or snowy day, but a crisp autumn afternoon will work well too. The Egyptian Wing is, of course, astonishing, but I also love the Robert Lehman Collection and this mesmerizing portrait.

See what's going on at The Guggenheim and slither your way up the spiral design of the museum; you'll feel very accomplished once you reach the top.

Dressed for a day on the Upper East Side

If you get peckish, I really love the Bluestone Lane cafe where you can get coffee and, okay sure, avocado toast. This particular church-adjacent location is gorgeous with stone archways so you can pretend you're drinking your cocoa at Notre Dame.

Evening

Pretend you're Gwyneth Paltrow and go to Elio's for a delicious and iconic dinner, then enjoy a martini and a show at the Carlyle Hotel. This evening is VERY heartbroken businessman in a 70s movie finds himself nursing a cocktail at a dark wood hotel bar in NYC as a jazz singer croons in the background.

BONUS: A MAGNIFICENT OTHERWORLDLY BEAUTIFUL DAY IN THE BRONX

For my final Dream Day in NYC would include only two elements: My favorite museum on planet earth, and the best Little Italy (out of two) in New York.

If you live anywhere but The Bronx, The Cloisters is a bit of a hike, but so worth it for the medieval art, grand gardens, and views of the Hudson River. Going to the Cloisters is a sacred experience—one I don't want to have too many times for fear of lessening its power.

Tuscany? No, The Bronx!

After emerging from The Cloisters a changed human being, take a taxi to Bronx Little Italy on Arthur Ave. You can't go wrong with dinner; every restaurant will have you believe you're in your own version of Lady and the Tramp, complete with drippy candles on red-and-white checked tablecloths.

Incredible fonts on Arthur Ave

AND SOME TIPS FOR TOURISTY STUFF:

Broadway shows: A must! But get there really early so you aren't frantic while navigating Times Square Hell Hole. You can always get a drink at the theatre before the show, which is very fabulous. Go to Sardi's afterwards.

Statue of Liberty: If you simply insist, and I don't blame you, I'd skip the tour and do a Sunset Sail instead. It's splurgy, but 10000% worth it. You take a gorgeous sailboat to the Statue of Liberty and back to Chelsea Piers, and you feel both billions of miles away from Manhattan and close enough to touch it all.

Me and friend Faris on a sunset sail—see the Statue of Liberty in my sunglasses!

Dumbo Photo: I'm a new resident of Dumbo, a neighborhood where you can take this coveted photo. If taking a coveted photo is something that's important to you, have brunch at Vinegar Hill House beforehand (the pancakes are to die for) and recover from the selfie crowds at nearby Brooklyn Bridge Park.

AND FINALLY, YOUR ASSIGNMENT:

I only wrote about neighborhoods I know well, so please feel free to share other recommendations in the comments!

I also highly encourage you to keep a list of Magical Things You See in New York, which I've been doing on Instagram for years (and wrote a chapter about in my last book):

My favorite Instagram DM ever was from someone whose sweet daughter kept her own list of magical things when she visited New York (I was informed that Mine Mine was a stuffed animal, Squirrely was a squirrel, and Waddle and Pecker were names she gave to two pigeons):

And yours??

Welcome to Out of the Blue, a weekly reflection on something that's caught my attention, and an attempt to learn deep lessons from the shallow and light wisdom from the dark. If you haven't subscribed yet, sign up for free here!