I love buying things.
I could come up with some lofty reasons for this flaw:
I’m an air sign, more spirit than human most days, and desire worldly material things to balance out my ethereality!
I’m an only child whose friends were inanimate objects (this painting is basically the only child experience in a nutshell) and I still feel strong emotional attachment to stuff!
There’s a lot of hard evolutionary evidence that humans get euphoric pleasure from possessing a new thing; it makes us feel provided-for and safe!
OR it just feels good to buy stuff. Who knows!
It is de rigueur to prefer experiences, not things...but experiences involve a lot of things, don't they? Traveling, for example, is full of tangibles and sensory experiences: consuming local snacks, touching ancient stone. It feels nice to touch things, correct to hold things.
So, I wanted to share some that I love. Mindy Kaling used to write a great blog with a feature called Things I Bought That I Love, and I'm not sure I can express it any better than that. Here's my list right now:
My electric toothbrush:
I just went a year without buying anything from Amazon or big-box websites, not as a boycott but as a challenge to get to know my local businesses better. I’m less strict about my rules now but still routinely ask myself, “Could I get this same thing in my neighborhood?” before I click buy now.
Recently, I did that routine with an electric toothbrush, after finally giving up on low-tech dental upkeep. I strolled down to my local small electronics store (filled with sewing machines and vacuums—oddly soothing in abundance) which displayed electric toothbrushes in the window.
I asked for the best cheapest one, and the owner, who looked and sounded like he could be a character from Moonstruck, suggested the Philips Sonicare ProtectiveClean 4100 with the travel case—"because you're gonna want this on the road!" It's been phenomenal.
Moreover, I checked how much it was on Amazon, fully expecting to have paid more at the local shop, and it was MORE on Amazon!
My rice cooker:
Much like my automatic coffee maker, my rice cooker makes me feel taken care of...by a machine. I realize this is the cautionary tale explored in the movie Her, but yes, I do feel real affection for a product that can cook some of my dinner for me.
The little "ding!" of the rice cooker when it's done gives me comfort akin to "Food is ready!" or a dinner bell that might ring in a boarding house in early 20th century New York.
I use rice as a fluffy delicious base for most of my meals, so a rice cooker is a must. I add ghee for rich flavor while it cooks, and I sprinkle Japanese rice seasoning on top.
My kitchen shears:
Here are some situations where I find it useful to have a go-to:
-A title in mind for when I'm asked what my favorite book is or what I'm reading these days (my mind goes instantly blank when someone asks me this and I literally cannot think of a single book)
-An old standby drink for various situations (I have a go-to beverage in mind for a dive bar, a wine list, a cocktail menu, and a wedding)
-A category of gift that I will always appreciate and can never have enough of. I believe I’m the easiest person on earth to shop for because I like everything, but I realize that’s not useful if someone who doesn’t know me well is scrambling to get me a present for any reason (Secret Santa, etc.)
My go-to for “What would Mari like for Christmas?” is KITCHEN STUFF. If you like to cook, this is an easy category for the gift-giver and gratifying for you, the recipient. I certainly could always use a new knife, wooden spoon, or highly specific gadget of some sort. Even if I already have one, I'm always happy to have an upgrade (or a different color).
One of the best cooking gadgets I bought myself is OXO kitchen scissors. In my poultry-cooking days, they worked fabulously for cutting chicken into pieces. They marvelously slice through a pizza (so much easier than using a knife, and cutting pizza with scissors is a fun look). They masterfully snip herbs, particularly green onions right into a soup. And they break down boxes with blissful ease.
If you have a cook in your life, bless them with these scissors (but be warned, they might instantly fall in love with you!).
Also, cookware I bought that I love: Lodge cast iron skillet and Dansk casserole (note how the lid becomes a trivet!)
And mugs I got that I love: A bone china set from Emily Maude, a wonderful British illustrator whose choice to put a portrait of Shackleton's cat on coffee cups is inspired. I love the delicate way these feel in my hand.
My Patreon subscriptions:
I’m delighted Patreon exists. I love contributing some dollars to folks whose work means a lot to me; it feels right to become a small part of their support system. If I listen to a podcast a lot, I see if they have a Patreon (and maybe even get a refrigerator magnet out of the deal). If I've learned a lot from a speaker or thinker, I become a backer to deepen my connection with them. Also you get to refer to yourself as a patron. Very 14th-century bourgeois Florence of you.
(RELATED: I've made a survey where you can share your thoughts on a paid subscription option for this newsletter, including what kind of bonuses you'd be interested in. I’d be so grateful to get your input!)
My magazine subscriptions:
I hate, hate, hate reading on a screen. Which I realize does not bode well for this newsletter... Hm. No, scratch that—I actually like reading blogs and emails: media that was invented within the internet and therefore created for online consumption. I don’t enjoy reading anything that was created for paper but made its journey to a tiny screen to fit our something-to-look-at-while-waiting-for-my-friend-at-this-cafe needs.
Long form articles on a laptop? Travel photography on a phone? Shocking celebrity interview on an iPad? Forget it. I actually bought a printer just so I could read online articles on paper. I am a material enthusiast (air sign!), what can be said.
I subscribe to a few magazines (and somehow subscribed to Bon Appetit twice so I always leave one at a subway station for a commuter to enjoy) but my favorites are Real Simple (comforting), Yolo Journal (wanderlustful), Cook’s Illustrated (impeccable), and Vanity Fair (the long articles are ideal before bed because they get your mind off your own catastrophes and let you think about some storied piece of real estate in Monaco).
I've mentioned that I appreciate reading printed newspapers and magazines because I break my own algorithm; I end up reading about topics I'm not necessarily interested in, and I hear voices I wouldn’t actively seek out. This has been so good for my brain as I’m on a quest to keep my mind wide open and receptive in an age when it’s so easy to be fed only the opinions you agree with and the topics you already know about. They're also nice to read in the bathtub.
Magazine suggestions welcome—subscriptions these days are CHEAP!!
Sessions with gifted people:
As an interdependent creature, I have a lot of mentors, coaches, sounding boards, advice-givers, teachers, and healers in my life.
This is a good thing, but the danger is that I'm very porous and susceptible to anything that someone tells me directly. This means that I really thought I was supposed to move to Portugal once based on a tarot card, which was definitely not the case.
Nowadays, I work only with people who are beacons of integrity. I'm skeptical of predictions and even more skeptical of claims rooted in ego (i.e. "I can heal you, I can change your life") but I am wildly enthusiastic about working with folks who are humble, soulful, and mega insightful.
I love the soul-tending sessions that I've purchased with Kiki Robinson. They do particularly gorgeous work around ancestral healing and cord cutting.
I took the God Is My Boss (best title ever) course by extremely profound human Aaron Rose and, to put it mildly, it completely reshaped the way I work and view my work.
Seasonal tarot readings from The Sacred Expanse have been beautiful and tender mirrors to reflect what is going on with me at a given time, within the context of my big whole life.
My Bensimon sneakers:
I have giant feet so sneakers look like canoes on me. How I would love to wear Vans or Converse like a chill cool unbothered girl, but alas, couldn’t be me. I am bothered and I wear Bensimons.
They’re so thin that they actually look like shoes on me as opposed to ships. The yellow color is so lively and noticeable; I get a lot of compliments, which is the goal of wearing shoes.
My prized earrings:
Earrings add so much joy to a face. Lately I've been happy to see a lot more men around NYC embracing earrings (see this drop pearl on GQ writer Samuel Hine) because they invite both play and elegance to a look.
As for me and my ears, Vanessa Mooney makes a perfectly-sized hoop that doesn't infect me AND looks really nice with any type of outfit. I also have the same hoops with dangling hearts and they're adorable.
My favorite special splurgy earrings are by Grainne Morton, whose designs make my sternum ache with adoration and longing. I bought a pair as an I-wrote-a-book present, and Gigi Hadid commented this upon an Instagram post featuring them, and I quote: “Wow those earrings are sicckkkkkk.” (This entire newsletter has been leading me to that anecdote.)
My favorite salt:
I am a salt expert, and Maldon is the best salt. Delicate, flaky, crunchy, perfecto. You may know that already. What you may NOT know, is that a wooden salt spoon takes it to a whole new level.
Lately I’m very interested in the ceremony of everyday moments. I’m remembering when I was staying with a host family in Japan as a teenager and the ceremony of breakfast stands out so well: five teeny dishes presented on a special tray. Breakfast before school was to be taken seriously, to be respected as both art and pleasure.
With such a high standard of ritual and etiquette, there’s space to be profoundly creative within limitations (Japanese breakfasts are a stunning example). I think about that when I create my schedule: structure is so much more stimulating to me than a sea of free time.
When I create ceremony around things I do every day, I inevitably become more intentional and caring about the way I treat my days and the way I treat myself.
So, I could spend $30 on a jar of saffron (and I just did) but I’d rather spend $$$ on something I use many times a day (salt) and create a lovely ritual around it, with a teeny spoon.
If I'm creating artful ceremony around salt, then I'm more likely to create artful ceremony around the bigger things, then I'm more likely to be appreciative and present and all the things I'm always trying to be more of.
My coat rack:
I actually bought a knockoff of this for $30; they’re all over the internet. One of my hobbies is searching for “[designer] [object] dupe” and finding a splendid cheaper reproduction. This is how I’ve purchased my furniture and no one is the wiser! (I do not condone doing this to independent designers working today, but I think Eames can handle it.)
My new favorite ice cream:
I am constantly, constantly assessing my relationship with animal products. On one hand, I acknowledge that we eat for so many reasons: for joy, for love, to socialize, to connect to culture, to connect to ancestry, to comfort ourselves, as a spiritual practice, etc etc.
I can’t buy that “food is fuel” and I’m lying to myself if I say that ethics trump emotions when it comes to what we crave and consume.
On the other hand, I cannot know everything I know about the meat and dairy industries and feel fine about partaking. While I believe eating animals/their products is natural and human, the industries themselves are not natural or humane on any level.
When I look at my sweet tough little cat and marvel at her distinct personality, I can only imagine that every chicken and cow has their own personality too. I believe that they were each divinely created with so much love. I tear up when I think about dairy cows trying to hide their babies so they won’t be taken yet again, and other ways that animals express their suffering under unbelievably cruel conditions. I can't ignore that reality.
On the OTHER hand, I don’t partake in dogma, and I don’t like eating with rigid restrictions (it can trigger some yucky obsessive impulses in me), and I don’t want the rigidity of my own choices to ever stir up judgment of others. I love the taste of meat and I’m crazy for dairy and I would never want to get so dogmatic that I’d forget how much pleasure they bring to other people!
On the OTHER hand, eating plants makes me feel happy, so going (mostly) plant-based for the time being is feeling really good. I can do without a lot of dairy, but GOOD vegan ice cream has been hard for me to find.
Enter: Wildgood. Absolutely splendid.
Every flavor made with extra virgin olive oil is rich and intense, like a beautiful gelato. So far, I'm not missing dairy-ful ice cream at all (though I'm yearning for a cookie dough flavor).
My watercolor paper:
I buy cheap art supplies in rebellion to pomposity, but high-quality watercolor sheets actually do make a difference. I like the biggest size that takes up my living room floor, and that paired with watercolor tubes has me thinking I'm in the Barbizon school of painters.
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