90 Comments
Aug 9, 2023Liked by Mari Andrew

Lots of good advice, but let's keep the boarding last trick a secret, and relax quietly while everyone else stresses about getting on board the aluminum tube. In this case, the benefit is destroyed if shared.

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Agree. In Europe on budget airlines overhead storage is minimal to packing light is key for this. :-)

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Aug 13, 2023Liked by Mari Andrew

Love these so much! Thank you for sharing!! You know how there are so few people you feel so much warmth from and towards instantly and it’s a surprise for me how it is for a stranger i know only via social media, but it is for you, Mari. Thank you for being your authentic self, from one HSP to another. Sending you good vibes ✨

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As for the baby question, gender-neutrality aside, another good answer to, "Do you want a boy or a girl?" can be, "Yes, we do!"

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Why put gender neutrality aside?

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Mari- I was just going to say that you write like you’re talking to a friend, so glad to learn you write like you’re talking to your mom (maybe also a friend!). I find your writing to be the most refreshing writing I read every month.

I agree with you about cards !

My mom writes on her calendar every year for every SINGLE person who she knows who has lost a loved one and sends them love for every special day. I learned everything I know about being there for a grieving person year after year from her. She was a teacher and even kept the pictures of the decreased in her classroom and taught third graders compassion and prayer for their families.

I love every one of these. I love that you are fluent in Spanish and I love what you said about going with the wave. About writing everything down. About children who are born healthy or not healthy.

I am learning how to feel “okayish” in a world where people aren’t used to you having a baby with some serious conditions. I just want every person alive to know how amazing my little Sammy is. I’ve made that my mission. He’s such a miracle. Maybe I’ll connect with you on your personal work you do with other writers because I’m trying to figure out how to make space to say what I am learning from this experience with my baby the last year. It’s totally changed my life. Some days I feel so free because I’ve witnessed something and am witnessing something magical. Some days I feel so outside myself I want to scream. Ah, life…

Much love to you.

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author

Julie!! This is such a beautiful note. Your mom is an angel on earth. You are just wonderful.

I believe Sammy is phenomenal. My friend Lisa Gungor (who once had a band called...Gungor, if that's a familiar name) has a fabulous daughter with Down Syndrome who inspired such a similar feeling in her: the desire for everyone to know how incredible Lucy is. She went on quite a creative journey with that mission, including this song which makes me cry my eyes out:

https://open.spotify.com/track/2x2FUFdh6JECwzPIlRTP6F?si=7d3915ed9eb74846

AH LIFE INDEED.

Sending all the love!!!

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For some reason I’m missing 51-63. I’d love to see them because the others are so wonderful!

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author

Oh lord! The formatting got all wonky but they're all in there ;)

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Also totally missing for me. (Actually shared this with one of my orgs - I didn't notice myself (what are numbers, really, when the ideas are so good?) but someone sent me an email about it! but I can't see them in any way I open (reader, etc.)

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I can’t find them either.

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This was such a refreshing read thank you, it felt like drinking a fresh mango passionfruit juice with mint garnish in the summertime!

If you feel inclined, I would love to hear you say more about #98 and what you learned from your hairdresser. I'm 13 weeks and honestly shocked at the number of people who think it's normal to ask 'are you hoping for a girl or a boy'... I find it such a weird and intrusive question. Even if I did have a preference (I don't), not sure why such personal wishes of my heart would be any business of a random acquaintance or distant relative?!

I had thought that by answering 'a healthy baby' I was giving more of a 'mind your own business' and reminder that my baby's genitals aren't important, the fact that they arrive here safely is. When pregnant the fears about losing this little being can be overwhelming, for women who have suffered pregnancy loss or infertility even more so. But I do understand the implication that 'healthy baby' has - that a baby with health issues is somehow less worthy or wanted, ignoring their humanity and contribution. Perhaps it's more respectful and direct for me to just say 'I'm hoping for a live birth'.. bound to shut them up ;)

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I always used to joke and say "I'm hoping for a human" when people asked me what I was having. I can't speak for parents of disabled children (from birth) but I do understand that there are often feelings of inadequacy when people focus on "healthy". A lot of babies are born with health complications, but it doesn't make them any less valued or loved.

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People don’t know what to ask and are looking for a way to connect. Sometimes I remember that when the question feels wrong and answer a different question (of my own) instead.

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Sometimes I say, can you ask a different question instead?

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+1 surprised and confused by “just hoping for a girl”

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It’s my birthday today and this was such a gift to read. Thank you!

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Omg happy birthday!!!! That makes me so happy!

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Thank for such a thought provoking and authentic list. I will re-read it regularly.

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That means so much to me! Thank you!

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I really loved this, especially all you’re saying about cards. They’re so nice to receive but I never think to send them. You’ve inspired me!

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I feel genuinely so overjoyed to have inspired you toward the journey of card writing!!

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This was delightful! And I loved the idea of loving an animal that can't give you exactly what you want and the lessons it teaches you. <3

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Utilizing the difficulties of others as a self-improvement tool?

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I had the best time reading this. Thank you for the sunshine!

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These are rich and wonderful and oh so helpful/insightful. Thank you for taking time to beautifully curate and share these meaningful thoughts. 💛🧡❤️

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Loved this whole post! It reminded me a little of Nora Ephron's "things I'll miss."

#11 was a specific favorite. I often feel self-conscious for no reason whatsoever, but maybe people are perceiving me for positive reasons - lol.

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Ahhh that list is the best! Everything on it makes me smile. And the list of things she won't miss is even more resonant.

They are definitely perceiving you for positive reasons! No doubt in my mind.

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What a well lived and loved life. Thank you for always sharing your wisdom with us Mari. 🫶🏽

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Oh Kamsy that means so much to me! I do want others to know how much I've loved my life. I just love and appreciate being on earth so much.

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Dec 30, 2023·edited Dec 30, 2023

Wow. You seem like such a thoughtful and caring person, it was so lovely to read you! I'm also so curious about all your experiences and feel like you've lived at least 7 lives!

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I really enjoyed your article.

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