5 perfect days in New York

Choose your own adventure

My friend just asked me for NYC recommendations, and I realized it’s been a few lifetimes since I wrote THIS GUIDE two years ago, for those who were seeking non-exhausting itineraries for…

*A BOHEMIAN INTELLECTUAL ARTSY VIBEY DAY IN THE EAST VILLAGE
*A ROMANTIC FAIRYTALE WHIMSICAL DAY IN NOLITA/LOWER EAST SIDE
*A DREAMY CONTEMPLATIVE COZY SWEATER DAY IN PARK SLOPE
*A CULTURED ACADEMIC TORTOISE-SHELL-GLASSES-WEARING DAY ON THE UPPER WEST SIDE
*A MOODY RAINY LITERARY DAY IN THE WEST VILLAGE
*A VINTAGE CLASSIC TRENCH-COAT-AND-SUNGLASSES ICONIC CINEMATIC DAY ON THE UPPER EAST SIDE
*BONUS: A MAGNIFICENT OTHERWORLDLY BEAUTIFUL DAY IN UPPER MANHATTAN/BRONX

You know how human cells supposedly replace themselves every seven years?

Well, New York cells seem to replace every 48 hours, so it’s an entirely new city within a couple years—and I am a new Mari.

Getting married in front of the skyline!

So here are the dream days I’ll be covering this time. Choose one, choose three, mix and match, find your vibe, the city is your oyster platter.

First, CLEARLY we need playlists!

Here’s one for being melancholy in New York, which I think is actually the ideal state of mind for the city.

Being lonely, heartbroken, and despairing in NYC is one of my most treasured hobbies, and I find that it’s a cushy trampoline for all those feelings:

Then, of course, there are times when you want to feel like the King of New York, in which case only a pump-up playlist will do.

I’m thinking…walking tipsy on a Saturday night down a long street in Lower Manhattan.

Literally NOTHING is better. Please, let me do that on my last night on earth.

And I’ll be listening to this…

Now, I present to you, my perfect (updated) days:

*A ROMCOM STARRING *YOU* ON THE UPPER WEST SIDE
*A SCENIC, PHOTOGENIC, AND SOMEHOW STILL PEACEFUL DAY IN DUMBO
*A KALEIDOSCOPE DAY IN THE EAST VILLAGE
*A DOWNTOWN *UNCOOL* PERSON’S DAY
*A DAY FULL OF *LIFE* IN SOUTH BROOKLYN

These are neighborhoods I happen to know well.

The dozens of other areas are so worth exploring, enjoying, figuring out, working through, tolerating, appreciating, and ultimately treasuring.

As a favorite movie of mine said…

“You don’t get to hate it unless you love it first.”

A ROMCOM STARRING *YOU* ON THE UPPER WEST SIDE

One of New York’s copious beauties is that you can feel like the most important person on earth and the least important person on earth at the exact same time.

If you’ve never been to New York, think about being at the airport (in the very best of circumstances):

You’re aware of your smallness/the world’s bigness, but you’re also in your own private, luminous, dramatic personal universe—and surrounded by hundreds in their own personal universes.

That’s why New York has always been such a balm for me when I’m sad; my tears are just teensy a drop in the Hudson River.

I can easily picture all the people who have been hurting in this exact same subway car, this apartment, this sidewalk, this outdated cafe.

I love feeling like I’m a part of something.

Sometimes that’s a thrill: “I get to be a PART of something!!!!”

Sometimes that’s a relief: “I’m just a part of something.”

I’m pierced with this sensation most sharply on the Upper West Side, which is the softest neighborhood in New York.

It’s not the coolest neighborhood, it’s not the most exciting neighborhood, but it’s the neighborhood I came to NYC for: to live in a massive cluster of villages, a land mass full of small towns.

I’m convinced that, on the Upper West Side, nothing bad will ever happen to me again in my entire life.

It’s a magical land where the internet has somehow not gotten rid of stationery stores, cobblers, stamp-makers, bagel roasters, landmark grocery stores, and nut shops (honored by You’ve Got Mail—a movie-length ode to the UWS).

When I’m there, I forget I’m in NYC and not a miniature Christmas village with a town square, post office, and barber.

If New York feels intimidating—whether with accessibility challenges, kids, elderly, or coming in from Iowa (I love Iowa) with a low tolerance for intensity and weirdness—look no further than the Upper West Side. The Beacon Hotel is great.

Morning

If you’re staying on the Upper West Side, there’s a law that says you have to get a bagel for breakfast.

My choice is Bagels and Co, a time-worn establishment with 70s stain glass lamps and a hurried line cook barking at you to tell him your order (prepare ahead of time!). My order is an everything, toasted, with avocado, but I have no problem breaking vegan for their cream cheese on a sesame.

Take your bagel and your coffee (from nearby Sote) to Central Park, which absolutely stuns on a rainless morning. There is nothing better than bringing a coffee beverage around the twists and turns of Central Park, when all the trees are showing off whatever the current season does best. Even winter, they’re ravishing: black abstract silhouettes upon a sere landscape.

Go in through the 72nd Street Entrance, and hang a right. I love going along the labyrinthine paths toward Bethesda Terrace (getting lost is a MUST!), where I stop and listen to Carlos (guitar) and Jessie (voice).

It’s a joy and a half to wander through Central Park—just keep in mind that it’s BIG and you don’t need to see it all! In fact, you can’t, so it’s helpful to prioritize:

Staying within a half-hour walk of where you started will help you find your way back to your hotel/friends/existence when you’ve grown tired. (Though there are always plenty of over-priced pedicabs vying for your business to bring you back if you’ve dawdled too far!).

Afternoon

If you’re hankering for a museum, I would say take yourself right on over the New York Historical Society I always have such a pleasant, enriching experience there—and it’s MUCH calmer than the nearby pandemonium that is the Natural History Museum (which I love…but I love my sanity more).

On second thought, might be worth it

For lunch, the Upper West is paradise for DINERS!

Since it’s already such a deliciously old-school neighborhood, you can get into the nostalgic NYC spirit even further and rejoice in a solid meal at Utopia Diner, Old John’s Luncheonette, The Viand, and Friedman’s. (The former two are vintage mainstays, the latter two are less authentic but have better food—your pick.)

If you would simply prefer a smattering of oysters, parmesan frites, strip steak, and a French 75—and who could blame you?—Cafe Luxembourg is a warm, leisurely, oops-did-I-accidentally-go-to-Paris-instead bistro/brasserie with a menu full of gooey comforting faves.

Post-feast, get gloriously lost browsing around the Columbus Avenue location of the Strand Bookstore or the Broadway location of Shakespeare & Co Bookstore.

The bookshop is to the Upper West Side what the pub is to London or the design store is to Copenhagen; it tells you exactly what the neighborhood is about and allows you to fully sink in.

Evening

One of the questions that plagues me most in life is this:

Why, right after seeing a Broadway show—a significant, wondrous journey of witnessing the grand monumental artistic collaboration that is specific to musical theatre—are you then spit out into the most irritating, raucous, over-stimulating sidewalks on earth…with no time or space to process the profound work you just saw??

I’m talking about how you are THRUST into the horrors of Times Square immediately after taking in a performance that I hope changed you as a person. It’s a jarring, sort of unbelievable contrast—like enduring U.S. airport customs right after a transcendent vacation that touched your soul, or having to search for your car in a fluorescent-lit cyclical parking lot dungeon right after seeing the symphony. It kills the vibe.

That’s why, I implore you to momentarily step out of the Upper West Side’s cozy pajamas to brave the spinning commercial mayhem that is the Theatre District (it’s only one stop away on a subway ride from 72nd—where you were earlier!).

Yes, it will feel like you were jolted awake in the middle of a peaceful nap to the sound of fire alarms plus people screaming plus cartoons blasting plus commercials for new TVs….but you know you can quickly get right back into your UWS pajamas as soon as you return!

And you will see a show, and no matter what the show, you’ll treasure the experience always.

There are lots of ways to get inexpensive Broadway tickets—TodayTix, rush, lottery, and just taking the worst possible seat on a non-popular day and time (which I do a lot for new shows I’m curious about).

If you’d like a snack or a tipple beforehand, I suggest Rum House for swanky cocktails, or Bea for unfailing food and a unhurried vibe. Both are quiet refuges in the Lego-Disney-H&M Mayhem!

If you’re feeling like some mischief after the show, try Nothing Really Matters or The Woo Woo. (You might see the actors there!)

If you’re not a Broadway Baby, you can happily stay put on the peaceful side of Manhattan and enjoy a family-friendly easy meal at Hi-Life or a sophisticated dinner at Nice Matin (for something in-between, try the cozy back-in-time institution Pappardella). Stop at Levain on the way home for a dessert of gargantuan cookies.

Times Square in Covid Early Days—can you believe?

Thanksgiving Day Parade Tip

If you ever come to the Upper West Side to watch the Thanksgiving Parade, the secret is to watch with the rest of the locals from any one of the closed streets listed here (my mom and I head over to 74th Street).

It’s the BEST to watch the parade from one of the neighborhood blocks where Upper West Siders bring out their ladders for viewing, their beach chairs for relaxing, and their coffee and mimosas to share. Everyone is in a merry mood and you can go in and out—no need to sit on freezing bleachers for hours!

A SCENIC, PHOTOGENIC, AND SOMEHOW *STILL* PEACEFUL DAY IN DUMBO

As someone whose home is the Instagram Capital of NYC, I have to remind myself how lucky I am to live in such a touristy neighborhood even if it feels like swimming upstream just to run out for paper towels.

DUMBO (an acronym for—uhh, you guessed it??—Down Under Manhattan Bridge Overpass) became a touristy area only after the advent of social media.

What was once an industrial district known for shoe factories and the largest U.S. cardboard manufacturer became a whole chapter in a travel guidebook circa 2014.

The picture spot that created a neighborhood

My landlord once owned the only lunch restaurant for the workers in all of DUMBO (a pizza institution that still stands!). Then, in the 80s, he took a chance on buying property, and, for THE GOODNESS OF HIS GOLDEN SOUL, doesn’t charge us per the demands of the area.

(Some day I will tell you the miracle of how we landed this idyllis apartment, and all of it has to do with how much this extraordinary man cares for his community—It was like being blasted with a grace-filled watergun.)

All the original DUMBO residents are still mouth-agape in shock that international tourists actually want to go there, but, with a popular photo spot comes a LOT of business.

And thus, there is a lot of crappy terrible tourist-trap business.

Then there is the good stuff.

So if you want to get THAT picture, OR an even better photo of the Manhattan Skyline from the Park (real ones know :)…here’s my itinerary for maintaining a sense of peace and happiness in the midst of selfie-taking hordes:

Morning

Unless you’re really picky about getting a sunset portrait, get to the Dumbo photo spot early—like, first thing you do when you wake up.

That way, you’ll beat the tourist groups, wedding parties, quinceañera pictures, influencer selfie sessions, and parents directing their children to stand still and smile…all which gather primarily in the afternoon.

Get a cute snapshot, then quickly scurry out of someone else’s frame to breakfast and coffee at Dawn’s til Dusk. Tell them Mari sent you :) and enjoy some high-quality food and coffee in a local establishment (that locals actually love!) before moving on to the next.

From Dawn’s, head south with your coffee toward the elysian Brooklyn Bridge Park, which is just a few steps away. I spend most mornings there volunteer-dog-walking, and juuuust when I threaten to leave New York for a donkey sanctuary in the countryside, the park yanks me right back.

Walk the entire length; there is so much to see. Sit on a bench and admire the waves, or stop at the little beach and let your toes scrunch the sand for a minute. Cross the small bridges across the pond and look for turtles. Rustle bushes as you make your way through the squirrel jungle.

Walking Ani

Walking myself

Afternoon

Walk up from the park to Brooklyn Heights where you can see some of Brooklyn’s most impressive home architecture, particularly on “The Fruit Streets” (Orange, Pineapple, and Cranberry).

You could wander from there to Brooklyn Promenade, or you can head back to DUMBO to do some shopping: I suggest Front Street General Store (for hip souvenirs and vintage Japanese sweaters), the Empire Stores (which double as a food court for second breakfast), and Brooklyn Flea (for one-of-a-kind wackiness) on the weekends.

For lunch, I’d personally skip the teeming Time Out Market, and instead head to the chic, quiet, soulful oasis that is Fontainhas. It’s one of the rare cafes in New York that has beautiful thoughtful food (mostly South Asian), a satisfying aesthetic, AND somehow is never loud or busy. If you fall in love with it, go back for happy hour later in the day.

You have a free afternoon, so you have a few options:
*Wander just past Dumbo toward Vinegar Hill (pick either John Street or Plymouth Street and just keep walking) to peep in the windows some really cool stores and offices in the industrial, majestic buildings of the area. There are a few architect firms around there, and it always makes me giddy to see someone sketching a blueprint before my very eyeballs.
*Catch a matinée at St Ann’s Warehouse Theatre
*Enjoy a ferry ride to Lower Manhattan or Williamsburg—it’s the cheapest and easiest way to get around from Dumbo AND feel like Barbra Streisand.
*Walk the Brooklyn Bridge, knowing you will be with many many others who had the same idea
*Keep exploring Brooklyn Heights! It’s known as quite a posh quarter (see if you can spot celebrities picking up their kids from fancy schools!) so it’s nosy amusement to walk around and imagine your life as a Brooklyn homeowner. Couldn’t be me!

Evening

If you’d like to redo some of your photos during Golden Hour/Sunset, come back to Dumbo or Brooklyn Bridge Park and take advantage of a glittering Empire State Building and a placid Hudson River.

Have a tipple for your efforts at Gair or a hot chocolate at Jacques Torres. Then, enjoy a warm and spectacular evening at Celestine, where I got married!!!

Clearly, I think Celestine is a VERY special restaurant (the views! the food! the memories!), but I’ll have to cheat and DEMAND that you book at Vinegar Hill House during Christmastime!

It’s like going to a pilgrim’s woodfire-warmed cabin decorated with old-timey garlands and stockings and copper pots (why not?) during the holidays. The actual definition of cozy. When I ate meat, the cast iron chicken made my toes curl with pleasure. Nowadays I salivate over the tagliatelle.

Their legendary Guinness Chocolate Cake is perhaps my favorite dessert of all time (I’ll request it at my death bed).

And if you’re somehow not feeling either of those menus (???), I also love Inga’s (for moody cocktails and a slick menu), Al Mar (for a friendly feel in a glowing space), Bar56 (for flavor-bomb food in plush booths), and Em Vietnamese (for all things lemongrass).

A KALEIDOSCOPE DAY IN THE EAST VILLAGE

I tried not to look at my 2022 NYC guide because I wanted to write authentically to my NYC life in this exact moment TODAY (without any influence from past me!), but I cheated by looking at the East Village itinerary, and it’s still my absolute dream day in my absolute favorite place.

It’s funky and flamboyant. It’s not as immediately charming as its Western sibling. But its inimitable, larger-than-life personality will gorilla-glue itself onto your heart.

I remember every single day I spent in the East Village. It’s as though the area had some chemical makeup so that it permanently welded to my memory. I loved every moment of living there. I love every moment of being there now. I still joyfully spend my whole Sunday in the East Village after church.

My sweet church

I care for the neighborhood as much as I care for any person in my life; it’s a breathing growing creature that I’ve vowed to protect, adore, and cherish. That means: advocating for it, investing in it, and always bringing some clothes and food to drop off at the community fridge.

The new East Village Cookbook sums it up so rhapsodically:

The ever-changing multi-storied ravaged tenement ant farm that gave birth to a whole new city. It was brilliant chaos in drag. Refuge to weirdos. Sanctuary to dreamers, lunatics, and revolutionaries.
Every day’s rising sun lifts the curtains to open-air drug emporiums, crushed glass, and scattered trash. High heels standing next to rats. Hard bands play thrash to baby birthdays, ballers, scholars, and brawlers.
Every vein and artery another bar, another glass, another quinceañera, another loud piercing screeching sound on the guitar, another junkie staring, horn playing, siren blaring.
From afar it’s a movie, closer it’s just filthy, but look deeper to get lost in its beauty.

With minor updates to my previous East Village guide, I’m so happy to share this very special place with you:

Even though I no longer live in the East Village, it will always be my New York home. I fell in love with the city through the punky gritty prismatic area that feels like the West Village's offbeat sister, the Judy Funnie of neighborhoods.

It's an inchoate mess of comic book shops, tattoo parlors, dark candlelit bars, grubby dives, jazz clubs, stray basketballs dribbling into the street, and pages of poetry left on cafe tables. Bring your beret.

Morning

I'd spend my last morning on earth wandering the blocks of the East Village. It stuns on an early weekday, abuzz with the energy of an adult Sesame Street: the owners of bodegas, crystal shops, and rubber stamp stores greet each other as they open, and psychics and musicians mingle at cafes. It feels like a preserved part of NYC, relatively untouched by wealth and development, like a magical punk rock snow globe amidst shiny new high-rises.

I’d stop at Mud, a coffee shop/cafe frozen in time; I always feel like I’m about to start a barista shift when I walk in because it takes me right back to all the 90s coffee shops where I worked in the 00s. I’d get a giant cup of coffee to go and people-watch for a while on the bench outside (which happens to be right next to my old apartment—just look for the shittiest building on the block.)

For breakfast I'd have blintzes at Veselka, the iconic Ukrainian diner across from Mud. Then I'd wander over to Tompkins Square Park, where I want my ashes scattered in the daffodil field, and watch the dogs play and the New Orleans jazz band warm up.

I'd bring a book to pretend I was reading on a bench as I observe the chess and basketball players and make silent bets on who will win. (Russian Doll is a great show that captures the singular spirit of the East Village and especially Tompkins Square Park magnificently).

Afternoon

I'd wander up and down 2nd Avenue and check out every side street from 1st Street through 13th. I'd buy a journal at the Japanese stationery store, some vintage glasses at Fabulous Fanny’s, a little ridiculous purse at Cloak and Dagger, and a toy that you can’t get at Wal-Mart for a child back home at The March Hare or a vintage children’s book at Pillow-Cat.

I’d definitely stop at East Village Postal and definitely spend way too much money on something I can absolutely live without. I’d take a detour down to Army Navy Bags just to see the world-famous Henry Yao (you’re likely to end up on his Instagram).

Then I’d order the Middle Eastern Breakfast (for lunch) at Cafe Mogador, which is just flawless vibes. It’s one of those rare, cheap, bean-bag-chair-comfy, always-scrumptious restaurants in NYC where celebrities and models mingle with the commonest of commoners.

These days, I might instead have Michelin-starred vegan pizza at Double Zero, or a fried tofu bento box at Evil Katsu.

I'd spend some time on St. Mark's Place (heaven on a quiet weekday, hell on a Friday night) and then wander to Book Club, a wonderful bookstore and cafe where I’ve written oodles of these newsletters!

The East Village is clearly a small town!

Then, I’d catch a late matinée at the Village East Movie Theatre. Seeing a movie on vacation?? you will inevitably ask, aghast. YES!, I will rush to reply. Not only is this old-timey cinema soooo New Yorky, but it also plays a lot of old and original films that you won’t see anywhere else, AND it’s gorgeous:

Because I was raised on Woody Allen movies, my vision of New York includes a LOT of going to the movie theatre.

It’s my absolute favorite solo activity, especially at a creaky dusty cinema where the candy boxes have likely been sitting around since 1982 but the popcorn is perfection. You’ll find yourself in the company of retired, independent, artsy New Yorkers—the best demographic—and walk out of the lobby feeling just like a local.

Evening

Wet your whistle at The Immigrant, my favorite bar in all of New York. The owner: so nice. The lighting: impeccable. The setting: intimate and cinematic.

For a fancy meal, go to the coziest restaurant in NYC, Hearth, and PLEASE order the bread and butter. For a rowdier vibe with a dash of style and pizzazz, try Pardon My French.

Other can’t-go-wrong options: Madame Vo (scene-y Vietnamese), Chef Tan (famous Szechuan), Hunan Slurp (world-class noodles), Miss Lily’s (party-atmosphere Caribbean), or Somtum Der (bustling Thai).

Then, see what's going on tonight at gay cabaret bar Club Cumming. Have a late-night cocktail at hidden diamond Lovers of Today, a tiny vampy dark speakeasy that plays soul music and makes an exceptional Negroni.

For an end-of-the-night dive bar, The Scratcher and Holiday Lounge are surefire for conversation and Lucky is surefire for…everything else?

A DOWNTOWN *UNCOOL* PERSON’S DAY

Disclaimer: If you identify as a Cool Person, you should do Cool things in New York, and there are plenty of them that shall not be covered in this newsletter.

While I do not identify as Cool, I occasionally appreciate being in proximity of Coolness and closely but inconspicuously observing—Jane Goodall style.

Coolness often congregates in Lower Manhattan, such as in the infamous Dimes Square, where intellectuals, models, and nepo babies find fellow kindred souls at knitting clubs and coffee shops inside of tailor studios that sell espresso and $290 t-shirts.

(Of course, there are scads of other Cool Congregations in other boroughs, but my research hasn’t taken me deep into those lands yet.)

So, my Downtown Manhattan Guide might brush you up against Coolness, but it is intended for the Uncool. Consider yourself disclaimed.

Morning

I’m using “Downtown” as a blanket for the cluster of Lower East Side, Nolita, Little Italy, Bowery, and Chinatown, which are perfectly distinct from each other, yet all blend together for me. (You know how the Inuit have 53 words for now? It’s like that.)

So we’re going to start our day in Nolita, a darling little princess of a neighborhood that shines with pink glitter on a sunny morning.

My ideal would be to bring my journal to Fiat Cafe and write for a while in the window while sipping coffee from a clunky ceramic diner mug. I could also be convinced to get a sesame bagel from Black Seed and munch on it outside while watching the little world open up. If I’m with a friend, I’d find a spot at the light-bathed Butcher’s Daughter.

I’d take a walk down the fetching pairing of Mott Street and Elizabeth Street (in my mind, they are an attractive married couple), and stop in all the magical shops: Sézane, Oroboro, Diptyque, Wesh, Love Adorned, and…all the rest. This is the definition of “a lovely stroll.”

For second breakfast, especially on a chilly day, get chocolate and churros at La Churreria.

Afternoon

Head lower and east to the….Lower East….where your inner child can bask in the wonder of history, imagination, and design at:

The Museum of Eldridge Street: a Moorish-Revival synagogue which is half-history-lesson and half-fairytale-land.

The Tenement Museum: a meticulously-renovated actual tenement with riveting true stories of its inhabitants. If you ever had an American Girl Doll, this is the museum for you.

The Earth Room: a…exactly what it sounds like, and one of Manhattan’s quietest places. Also, free!

I’d suggest The New Museum, but it’s a little too cool for my liking.

For an uncool but extremely satisfying lunch, bring a book or your pals to:
*El Castillo de Jagua (Rivington location) for messy scrumptious Dominican diner food
*Kopitiam for unfussy and elegant Malaysian (specifically, Nyonya) dishes
*Pause Cafe for a homey lived-in Moroccan-ish coffee shop with a mish-mash of a menu and patronage

If you simply insist on being seen at someplace sceney, wear your finest balloon pants to Kiki’s (Greek) or Scarr’s (pizza).

Tenement Museum!

Evening

I’m sorry to suggest you go to ANOTHER movie (hope there’s a lot playing during your vacation!!) but the Metrograph is SO worth it—and classic Lower East Side. You can have dinner there (like, steak) and catch the movie of the day which I guarantee you’ve never seen.

If you’d rather not spend your trip in a dark enclosed space, then putter your way down to Chinatown, where you can create-your-own food tour without having to partake in one that requires you to follow a guide who’s holding up a bright yellow paddle and leading you through resentful crowds. Your options:
*New Arping for peanut noodles
*Mei Lai Wah for buns
*Super Taste for dumplings
*Joe’s Steam for rice rolls
*or have a taste test against Sun Hing Lung for rice rolls
*Deluxe Green Bo for scallion pancakes
*New Cameron Bakery for pastries
*Big Wong for sit-down

Outside of Chinatown, I love Cervo’s—which I regret to say is pretty cool. It’s one of those places where everyone looks angelic because the lighting mimics a late summer sunset on the Algarve Coast or some such thing.

For Trendy Meets Nostalgic (a definitive NYC combo), I LOVE Dirty French and Sweet Chick. Have a super uncool cocktail before or after at Taverna Di Bacco, famous (to me) for my 31st birthday where I had a really nice evening to myself.

If you’re cool enough to still be wide awake after dinner, my former cooler self would suggest Home Sweet Home for a drink and a dance. You’re on your own from there.

A DAY FULL OF *LIFE* IN SOUTH BROOKLYN

Another disclaimer: I just spent too long of a time researching which enclaves are considered “South Brooklyn” and I still have only a vague idea, so just go with me on these, and I will gladly accept any corrections. You are now, once again, disclaimed.

I will always credit Brooklyn for my renewed love of life.

Not my life, per se, although, sure I guess—but LIFE in a general sweeping sense: the life of slugs, the life of cardinals, the life of elm trees, the life cycle, the life of the city.

I moved to Park Slope during Lockdown and discovered aliveness in the trees and soil—all the defunct aliveness I was craving in closed restaurants and crowd-less trains. I didn’t know that New York had its own life outside of people—and that’s when I started getting the first ideas for my upcoming book.

I was lucky enough to find an apartment with a garden (!!) in the death and decay of winter, and got to watch it brighten with hydrangeas and roses and bluejays in the spring. I’d never been so in touch with EXISTENCE before, and I always return to that wild part of Brooklyn when I need to get back on affectionate terms with earth.

Here’s the day I’d have if I wanted to feel brimmingly ALIVE in Brooklyn—South or otherwise:

Morning

I would start my morning in Cobble Hill, which is another part of town which could easily convince you that nothing bad ever happens there.

It’s unrushed, worn-in, wealthy, and family-oriented. Kids dressed like Victorian boarding school orphans skip past on their way to school while their glamorous moms draped in cashmere carry lattes alongside.

There are still plenty of Italian grandmas barking from their stoops that the children aren’t dressed warm enough, but young financially-rotund families dominate Smith Street and Court Street, for better or worse.

That said…it’s a nice place to start your morning.

I would bring a book to a corner table at Cafe Luluc, which has that pleasant mish-mash of clutter and style—cue the sounds of clanging plates, gravelly jazz straining through the speakers, and a dinging bell above the lace-curtained door.

Or, I might see about a table at Daily Provisions (a chain but a GOOD chain) with famous seasonal crullers and a lively friendly atmosphere. Grab a coffee and a New York Times and enjoy the bustle.

(True life: I ordered a half-roast-chicken and mashed potatoes EVERY SINGLE DAY FOR A MONTH from Daily Provisions during my egg-freezing process).

I’d take a walk down Smith and down Court; there are jollifying shops and sweet scenes; I always feel like I’m in the credits of a TV show about some flawed-yet-optimistic Lady in the City when I walk down those streets—especially in the morning when so much of the day is still possible.

Afternoon

Now that you’re caffeinated and cruller-ed, take the F train from Bergen Street to 7th Avenue, and you’ll be whisked by train from heaven to heaven-er…right in front of my old apartment (which was ruthlessly and brutally sold!).

Wander around 7th Avenue if you want the real Mari Tour of New York—or just a really, really charming meander. Stop for Coffee #2 at Cafe Grumpy and Pastry #2 at Winner.

Now, it’s time to go get some LIFE.

Walk up to the 9th Street entrance of Prospect Park. (I have no real attachment to any of the entrances, but this is the one I know best, and it does the trick!)

I don’t know if I want to guide you through the park. As I said in my prior NYC guide:

The designer of Prospect Park (same guy as Central) was influenced by his dancer wife, who encouraged him to make paths that align with the natural movement of the human body. When you're walking around, you might notice that the paths move as intuitively as you do, and that's on purpose. For this reason, Prospect Park feels like a beacon of feminine intuition that I vibe very hard with.

In her honor, I invite you to go the way your body wants to go through the park. There are parts that feel really wild and replicate the feeling of hiking through unpaved actual nature, and there are parts that are perfectly manicured.

On a weekend, you’ll see a ton of all-day community parties among the Central American groups of South Brooklyn, and in the evening you’ll see owls and bats.

You’ll run into runners, witness horseback riding, hear world-class buskers, discover a Beaux Art Boathouse that looks like an oil painting, and come upon a mythical tree.

(True life: Mr. Mari’s “Random Fact I Love” on his dating profile was that “the poet Marianne Moore saved the dying Camperdown Elm in Prospect Park by writing a poem about it in the New Yorker.”)

The thing about magic is that you can’t direct anyone to it; they have to find it for themselves. And so, I hope that you make time to find it for yourself in Prospect Park some day.

Another note: Since the depths of 2020, I exclusively listen to Trevor Hall while ambling and searching for magic in Prospect Park. His music + that nature was saving grace for me, and propelled me into the sweetest season of my life. Thank you Trevor, thank you Trees. And thank you This Song, which actually changed the trajectory of my life:

From the park, I would carve out time (you don’t need much!) at the wonderful wonderful Prospect Park Zoo, which is unbelievably relaxed and is guaranteed to bring a sense of inner peace. You don’t need long there—I struggle to fill even an hour—but it will bring about 10x more aliveness to your current state.

You could take a walk from there through Prospect Lefferts Gardens, a still-not-quite-gentrified family neighborhood that I really love—especially for its unusual and specific grocery stores. You could also walk or train over to Crown Heights, a historically Caribbean pocket with some of the city’s best lunches: Puerto Viejo, La Ñapa, and Peppa’s.

Or, you could stay on the beaten path and visit the FANTASTIC Brooklyn Museum, which constantly begs the question, “Why don’t I come here more often???”

You could return to Park Slope for lunch at Pasta Louise, which is one of my most tried-and-true spots in all of New York.

(True life: My “bachelorette party” was forcing three of my friends to see “A Little Princess” with me at the Nitehawk Movie Theatre, followed by lunch at Pasta Louise. And guess what—it was perfect.)

For an afternoon coffee, you might see me working at Kos Cafe, or getting dessert at Sixteen Mill!

Brooklynites at Prospect Park Zoo

Evening

Okay so….Williamsburg is DEFINITELY not “South Brooklyn,” but I’m going to need you to go there anyway. Yes, you must head north to round out this Fully Alive Day.

Back to the pandemic (which my publisher kept telling me to stop talking about, oops!): I would often take walks through Williamsburg (specifically Bedford Avenue) during Ye Olde Pandemic Lockdown, when I was longing for travel but couldn’t go far.

Bedford Ave is the heart of Williamsburg’s Orthodox Jewish community, which was foreign and fascinating enough to simulate the experience of travel abroad for me. It was an instant step outside of my own culture—becoming an immediate outsider—and an entry into an admirable and complex way of life that families have devotedly upheld for a century.

I originally got my paltry education about the Williamsburg Hasidic lifestyle through the show Unorthodox, which highlights some very real challenges and horrors of growing up in such an insular community. Later, I really appreciated this YouTube series, which provided much more context plus the beauty of this unique way of life in the heart of Brooklyn.

I love taxi-ing along Bedford on the evening of the Sabbath, when you see kids and their parents shuffling around for last-minute preparations. Going with our theme of the day, it feels so ALIVE.

In other communities (like Cobble Hill, for example), evening is the time to wind down and send children straight to bed. In Williamsburg, it’s a whole family affair, and I look forward to seeing different generations excitedly mingle before sundown.

My taxi is taking me to Francie, which has become my all-time favorite restaurant. Situated in an old bank, it’s a peculiar mix of grandeur and familiarity (the waitstaff is required to wear graphic t-shirts on weekend evenings, and the playlist is dominated by 80s rock).

Mr. Mari and I go to Francie once a month or once every two months—depending on our budget—and it always feels like a big bountiful treat. I feel as in touch with existence at Francie as I do at Prospect Park: it’s artful, designed, unexpected, comforting, and indelible. Especially this duck dessert thing.

Birthday Bliss at Francie!

Bonus Adventure

If I wanted to keep the wild alive-ness theme-of-the-day going, I would lavishly treat myself to a night of glamping on Governors Island.

It’s a big splurge (especially to stay in a freaking tent??), but the benefit is having this spectacular, car-less island ALL to yourself for an evening and (even better) the morning.

You take the ferry from Wall Street, and in a few minutes land in another world. It’s a spot of land with an intriguing history, and I’m so grateful to the Park Service for taking such constant care of it.

(You don’t have to glamp to enjoy the island; you can just go there—the real benefit of glamping is that you can see it at night and early morning.)

Get a day pass at QC Spa and just CHILLLLLLLL while admiring the Manhattan skyline. I mean…? Come on. Perfection!

In the summer, you can sign up for a sheep meet-and-greet with the animals who mow the island’s lawn!! Bring your sketchbook! Draw a sheep!

Have lunch at Little Eva’s, Taco Vista, or the scene-y Tulum-wannabe Gitano’s. Explore the obviously-haunted abandoned houses around the island. Find peace.

Oh and there’s a casual lavender field

A seasonal bonus adventure:

During Christmas, schlep to the Bronx for the Train Show—my favorite holiday tradition in New York (if you go during the day, the Hudson Garden Grill has lots of robust lunch options, and is festively decorated!)

Thank you for reading—especially if you have no desire whatsoever to ever visit New York!

My hope is that, by skimming the Mari Guide, you will think about your own YOU GUIDE to your home—and find your own little paradise within it!