From Zen Buddhism comes the concept of Shoshin meaning beginners mind. An openness that allows us to feel our way into a challenging situation. Also to release ourselves from the idea we are all knowing. Honestly I just want to give you a huge hug after reading this. Like most of us you are doing the best you can at a particular point in time. My neighbor who doesn't have a lot of money gave me a small gift this week. It was an extraordinarily thoughtful gift ....something to keep me safe and more. Then he mentioned he bought it from Temu. I didn't blink an eye nor did I disparage the gift he bought because the real gift is his care and concern for my well-being which is just pure grace. And love.
Sherry! I receive your huge hug! And this really lovely story <3 Thank you!! And you've inspired me to pick up my copy of Zen Mind Beginner's Mind from my bookshelf again :)
This reminds of the points system in the show The Good Place. Life has become so complicated & it’s hard to really know the impact of a lot of our decisions
It is so good to read something these days where the author is not judging or complaining or pointing the finger or oozing superiority. Refreshing and i thank you.
I loved this mental journey trying to clear the weeds of ethical consumption. I genuinely believe that if we all stopped demanding simple answers to complex questions then the world would be a much better place.
And in the spirit of education, not the induction of shame, I did want to feed back on the ‘fun cheap crochet top’ narrative.
Disclaimer that I am a crochet pattern designer.
Crochet, ‘real’ crochet at least, cannot currently be replicated by a machine (it’s very different from knitting in that way). It has to be made by hand with a hook and yarn.
An average garment can take between 10 and 50 hours to make (depending on the specifics).
So I would suggest that a ‘fun cheap crochet top’ is an oxymoron.
There are two possibilities here. For it to be real crochet and cheap, someone somewhere was almost certainly exploited for their labour. Alternatively it’s not ‘real’ crochet but something machine made that is designed to mimic crochet.
I have seen a lot of the latter in shops recently, which makes me marginally less cross than the former, even if it does misrepresent the craft.
My positive solution… I enable people to crochet their own… and endeavour to educate :)
Thanks for sharing your quandaries on all the issues you do, I value seeing people’s thought process, even if mine might deviate in places.
My best friend is also an artisan of a very trendy style (clearly made by machines) and says the same thing--If it's under $100, it was not made by a human! I've learned so much from her, and, now, from you!
I wonder how this idea can cross over to the writing space (and SOOO many other creative disciplines where talent is just not valued in a monetary way)? You've got me thinking! Thank you!
I so appreciate that you followed up on this. To be honest, when you posted about Temu, I thought “Huh, that’s interesting.” Because I knew your ethics didn’t really align with what I have heard of them. I did consider emailing you but I’ve been working on not needing to call out every single thing I notice someone doing “wrong” especially when they are already smart and capable. You are smart and capable and I knew you would figure this out, or maybe you wouldn’t, but we are all just doing our best right?!
I also got my dog from a breeder. He would have been 14 on January 31st, but he passed away on New Year’s Day. I miss him so much. He was my first pet and I didn’t know better than to get from a breeder at the time. My husband and I took an online quiz to learn our ideal dog breed based on our lifestyle and it came up with the Canaan dog. They are purebred so I think you have to get them from a person and not a shelter. Anyway, I loved my dog but now that I know more about dogs and shelters I won’t be going through breeder. I enjoyed my dog and would make a different choice next time.
Exactly what I wanted to say. The canceling is so sad and hard to fathom. This piece so timely as last night listened to beloved Annie Lamott share her being canceled stories and was so shocked anyone could misunderstand her! You are genius in writing this. Submit something like this for wider audience? Ha ha. If you want to open to more opinions. Thank you Mari!
Thank you for sharing, Mari! As someone who deeply loves animals & guides ants across sidewalks to safety & hates the unethical meat industry .... but also buys a chicken salad sandwich from Panera’s, I am constantly confronted by the reality of trying to do our best to live aligned with our values and the reality I don’t always do that. Thanks for sharing some of the topsy-turvy thoughts that go along with this journey being human 💛💛
Thank you for following up - last week I thought you were brave for mentioning Temu as I have received judgement for linking to SHEIN products.
I am not a subscriber (have you seen the exchange rate to ZAR?!) so didn’t read the full article but through what I did see, I could absolutely see your heart. ♥️
There’s another matter too which I always find interesting/ that this is privilege to assume everyone can shop ethically for everything they need.
Many years ago in the blog world there was a whole movement on eating organically. In South Africa there is an unemployment rate of 40%. People can’t even afford to buy food let alone buy organic (it’s ridiculous if you look at how food prices have increased).
Anyway…..I shared all that to say I’m here being imperfect along with you!
Mari, your authenticity and transparency are refreshing. I commend you for putting on your “thinking cap” for our mutual benefit.
We have to consider intention. We also have to consider capability or capacity. We each have either greater access or more limited access to various options.
Let none of us assume to be judge, jury (and potentially executioner.) Tolerance is an ongoing practice.
It bears recognition and repetition that we have not all been afforded the same shoes or even a similar path to journey.
We are all so perfectly imperfect!! :) I think that these types of responses often come from an urge for control, which I understand soooooo deeply. Grace for us all! :)
Thank you for saying ALL of this — feels like you read my mind and then wrote it. I’m a single mum who works part-time and I feel SO guilty whenever I don’t buy ethically.. but also I’m a single mum who works part-time in THIS ECONOMY. Also: I think you’re amazing, always have ❤️
Absolutely loved reading this edition. Written with truth and heart and candidly. These are such slippery slopes for conversation - animal rights, labour ethics, and list goes on. And chances are there's always going to be opposing views to ours and also new opportunities to learn and grow 💓💐 so we do the best we can and keep moving forward. Lots of love to you from India
I have been a long time reader of yours and your writing is very special to me. Thank you for bringing this up. I can feel my blood boiling right now, for THE thing that drives me bonkers : climate change and people flying on airplanes. Every time I see someone, especially someone I appreciate, casually go on a trip on a plane, my heart is broken. I think : my two kids might not grow up to live in a livable planet and you keep on taking planes and not caring ?!! People keep talking about freedom to move and enjoy, but I have never felt as freedomless as I felt last summer when it was so hot in my village that we couldn't go outside for days. How I wish everyone lived in my world, as you so beautifuly and honestly write. Your piece is opening up the wound and bringing fresh air in.
From Zen Buddhism comes the concept of Shoshin meaning beginners mind. An openness that allows us to feel our way into a challenging situation. Also to release ourselves from the idea we are all knowing. Honestly I just want to give you a huge hug after reading this. Like most of us you are doing the best you can at a particular point in time. My neighbor who doesn't have a lot of money gave me a small gift this week. It was an extraordinarily thoughtful gift ....something to keep me safe and more. Then he mentioned he bought it from Temu. I didn't blink an eye nor did I disparage the gift he bought because the real gift is his care and concern for my well-being which is just pure grace. And love.
Sherry! I receive your huge hug! And this really lovely story <3 Thank you!! And you've inspired me to pick up my copy of Zen Mind Beginner's Mind from my bookshelf again :)
Mari, you are light and love radiating out in all the vastness of the universe. Blessings.
This reminds of the points system in the show The Good Place. Life has become so complicated & it’s hard to really know the impact of a lot of our decisions
Haha my therapist brings up that show a lot--time for me to watch it!!!
It is so good to read something these days where the author is not judging or complaining or pointing the finger or oozing superiority. Refreshing and i thank you.
I loved this mental journey trying to clear the weeds of ethical consumption. I genuinely believe that if we all stopped demanding simple answers to complex questions then the world would be a much better place.
And in the spirit of education, not the induction of shame, I did want to feed back on the ‘fun cheap crochet top’ narrative.
Disclaimer that I am a crochet pattern designer.
Crochet, ‘real’ crochet at least, cannot currently be replicated by a machine (it’s very different from knitting in that way). It has to be made by hand with a hook and yarn.
An average garment can take between 10 and 50 hours to make (depending on the specifics).
So I would suggest that a ‘fun cheap crochet top’ is an oxymoron.
There are two possibilities here. For it to be real crochet and cheap, someone somewhere was almost certainly exploited for their labour. Alternatively it’s not ‘real’ crochet but something machine made that is designed to mimic crochet.
I have seen a lot of the latter in shops recently, which makes me marginally less cross than the former, even if it does misrepresent the craft.
My positive solution… I enable people to crochet their own… and endeavour to educate :)
Thanks for sharing your quandaries on all the issues you do, I value seeing people’s thought process, even if mine might deviate in places.
Dora
My best friend is also an artisan of a very trendy style (clearly made by machines) and says the same thing--If it's under $100, it was not made by a human! I've learned so much from her, and, now, from you!
I wonder how this idea can cross over to the writing space (and SOOO many other creative disciplines where talent is just not valued in a monetary way)? You've got me thinking! Thank you!
I so appreciate that you followed up on this. To be honest, when you posted about Temu, I thought “Huh, that’s interesting.” Because I knew your ethics didn’t really align with what I have heard of them. I did consider emailing you but I’ve been working on not needing to call out every single thing I notice someone doing “wrong” especially when they are already smart and capable. You are smart and capable and I knew you would figure this out, or maybe you wouldn’t, but we are all just doing our best right?!
I also got my dog from a breeder. He would have been 14 on January 31st, but he passed away on New Year’s Day. I miss him so much. He was my first pet and I didn’t know better than to get from a breeder at the time. My husband and I took an online quiz to learn our ideal dog breed based on our lifestyle and it came up with the Canaan dog. They are purebred so I think you have to get them from a person and not a shelter. Anyway, I loved my dog but now that I know more about dogs and shelters I won’t be going through breeder. I enjoyed my dog and would make a different choice next time.
You’re a good person. Keep on keeping on.
This was the most beautiful exploration of this topic I’ve ever read (And part because I’ve so rarely seen ANYONE try to do this!)!
Sending you love, admiration and heart, Mari.
That means so much more than you can know!
Exactly what I wanted to say. The canceling is so sad and hard to fathom. This piece so timely as last night listened to beloved Annie Lamott share her being canceled stories and was so shocked anyone could misunderstand her! You are genius in writing this. Submit something like this for wider audience? Ha ha. If you want to open to more opinions. Thank you Mari!
AWWW Annie Lamott, my hero! You are so kind!!!!
Thank you for sharing, Mari! As someone who deeply loves animals & guides ants across sidewalks to safety & hates the unethical meat industry .... but also buys a chicken salad sandwich from Panera’s, I am constantly confronted by the reality of trying to do our best to live aligned with our values and the reality I don’t always do that. Thanks for sharing some of the topsy-turvy thoughts that go along with this journey being human 💛💛
"Guides ants across sidewalks...." Omg. Sobbing! But why is chicken salad so good! Ugh! I really appreciate you here on this journey with me :)
I really loved this Mari, thank you. Wonderfully written and such a lively and compassionate conversation. I appreciated it a lot- thank you.
"Lively and compassionate"--such great words, you are clearly a great writer! Thank you!
Thank you for following up - last week I thought you were brave for mentioning Temu as I have received judgement for linking to SHEIN products.
I am not a subscriber (have you seen the exchange rate to ZAR?!) so didn’t read the full article but through what I did see, I could absolutely see your heart. ♥️
There’s another matter too which I always find interesting/ that this is privilege to assume everyone can shop ethically for everything they need.
Many years ago in the blog world there was a whole movement on eating organically. In South Africa there is an unemployment rate of 40%. People can’t even afford to buy food let alone buy organic (it’s ridiculous if you look at how food prices have increased).
Anyway…..I shared all that to say I’m here being imperfect along with you!
I AODRE YOU!!!!!!!
I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU!!!!!!! (watch out, Gustavo!)
Mari, your authenticity and transparency are refreshing. I commend you for putting on your “thinking cap” for our mutual benefit.
We have to consider intention. We also have to consider capability or capacity. We each have either greater access or more limited access to various options.
Let none of us assume to be judge, jury (and potentially executioner.) Tolerance is an ongoing practice.
It bears recognition and repetition that we have not all been afforded the same shoes or even a similar path to journey.
I’m sorry if people sent you rude/judgy messages, are we not all imperfect? I’m sure you do a lot of great things around you, Temu or not.
We are all so perfectly imperfect!! :) I think that these types of responses often come from an urge for control, which I understand soooooo deeply. Grace for us all! :)
Thank you for saying ALL of this — feels like you read my mind and then wrote it. I’m a single mum who works part-time and I feel SO guilty whenever I don’t buy ethically.. but also I’m a single mum who works part-time in THIS ECONOMY. Also: I think you’re amazing, always have ❤️
Absolutely loved reading this edition. Written with truth and heart and candidly. These are such slippery slopes for conversation - animal rights, labour ethics, and list goes on. And chances are there's always going to be opposing views to ours and also new opportunities to learn and grow 💓💐 so we do the best we can and keep moving forward. Lots of love to you from India
I have been a long time reader of yours and your writing is very special to me. Thank you for bringing this up. I can feel my blood boiling right now, for THE thing that drives me bonkers : climate change and people flying on airplanes. Every time I see someone, especially someone I appreciate, casually go on a trip on a plane, my heart is broken. I think : my two kids might not grow up to live in a livable planet and you keep on taking planes and not caring ?!! People keep talking about freedom to move and enjoy, but I have never felt as freedomless as I felt last summer when it was so hot in my village that we couldn't go outside for days. How I wish everyone lived in my world, as you so beautifuly and honestly write. Your piece is opening up the wound and bringing fresh air in.
We so appreciate you Mari! All of you. You are such a blessing. Sending hugs.