Rituals were on my "in" list for 2024! My favorite one right now was born out of wanting a way to hold spiritual and emotional space for my clients (I'm a therapist) without actually ~thinking~ about them or ruminating on all the weird stuff I said to them that day. Every night I light a candle for all the clients I've worked with (even if only for a session or two) and for all the ones I've yet to meet. I usually say the Julian of Norwich prayer when I blow it out to remind myself of the goodness and love we're all held in ❤️
I love this so much, Mari. I'm so grateful for your work. I created a ritual in the pandemic to remind me of the grace and possibility always here. I called it g.r.a.c.e. and each letter reminds me of what is most important. grounding in gratefulness, remembering the rainbow, attending to what is already & always available, centering in connection, and exhaling and embodying (total word nerd over here with the the alliteration). I also like to take 3 magic breaths while my hot water is warming up, and say a prayer while I whisk my matcha, open my heart when I open the windows in the morning, and feel the gifts my hands make possible when I wash them each day. In these little ways, everyday tasks become the ritual itself because I'm learning to trust that simply living is sacred, with or without the formal altars.💜
Oh Marissa, that is absolutely brilliant! WOW. Remembering the rainbow, how gorgeous. You sound like the most gentle-hearted sweet and grounded soul; I would love to bask in your presence some day. You've reminded me to resurrect a few old rituals I made while feeding the cat, doing the dishes, writing a card, filling my water bottle. Simple, sacred living. As Frederick Buechner said, "All of life is grace." <3
Oh my goodness, thank you for your response, Mari. I’m so honored to be seen that way, by you especially! I love that quote and I would love to bask in your joyful, radiant, generous presence someday, too. <3 Thank you for being who you are. You are a gift.
I love this and that you have your own tea!!! I cannot wait to try it.
My ritual involves tea too and I love every simple lovely step. Every morning I start the hot water, walk outside to the herb garden-sans shoes-and snip some fresh lemon balm. The washing, plucking the leaves with care into the French press, pouring of the hot water, picking my favorite mug, and adding a little honey all leaves me feeling fresh for the day.
I bring these up to my desk and write out my bullet journal shell for the day and by the time I’m finished, the tea is ready for me to enjoy. The drinking time folds right into my gratitude practice where I get to thank our gardens and bees and anyone/thing else on my heart that day. It’s brought so much peace to my life the last few months and as much as I love Fall I’m going to miss my barefoot mornings!
WHOA, I'm blown away by this evocative imagery: the barefoot shuffle, the ambrosial leaves, the plunging of the French press...you've transported me to somewhere so good and holy in the description of your every morning :) I'm feeling so much peace just hearing about the gardens and bees--thank you so much for that. I am such a barefoot enthusiast myself; I'd walk around everywhere without shoes if it were safe/socially acceptable/etc. My feet just love feeling the textures below. That is one absolutely wonderful thing about summer!!!
Thanks for this Mari. I've become so afraid of rituals as someone who grew up Catholic (iykyk) and suffered terribly with severe OCD. I suppose I do have some rituals like my daily morning movement. It looks different every day, but it's something i've been committed to for years. I'm curious, as you are also someone who has struggled with OCD, how do you keep the holy from becoming a mandate?
OHHHHHH wowww Caitlyn, I couldn't love this question more! GEEZ, that's such a good, important, fascinating point. I literally didn't even connect that I call my compulsions "rituals" (!!!). (Thought I DID connect how much religious bullhockey has interfered with the good ones :)
I am completely on this journey myself so I don't have an "answer," but a lot of the work I do with my therapist is pulling the threads of my mind apart in order to figure out what is ME, and what is OCD. When it's ME, the ritual grounds me in the present. It's an embodied feeling of centeredness and appreciation for the messy moment "that is." When it's OCD, it feels all mental, like I forget that I live in a body.
I experienced this just today; I was busy and didn't have time to go to the gym. Even though I exercise primarily for my mental wellness, I had that "OCD itch" because my brain wants me to exercise every day. But that's...my brain. My body had other plans: visiting my mom, taking a walk, doing some work that I cherish, taking a short nap, pausing for lunch, doing work that I DON'T cherish, and easing in and out of that. So, in that case, the exercise "ritual" would have taken me out of the present, rather than drop me in.
Obviously it's not always that clean-cut!!! I know I will likely struggle with this balance for the rest of my life, but I've noticed that the grounded, ME rituals really help suss out the OCD rituals :)
I really appreciate your response, Mari <3 This was extremely helpful. "I forget that I live in a body" is my default state. Thanks for helping me interrupt the constant chatter in my brain for a minute to question authentic versus OCD behavior.
Wow I love this. Right now my most consistent rituals are making my cup of drip coffee in the morning and taking in the morning light that flutters through the kitchen window. But I’m working on creating more consistency with my rituals, so they are able to become more generative and expansive - like you did with your creativity meditation ✨
I just came across a document that my stepdad wrote right before he died, about how he wanted to live intentionally in his final months. The big goal was to appreciate the light that came through the windows of his apartment. This is no small undertaking. You are doing so well at life.
Mari, I think you would really love the book "The Power of Ritual: Turning Everyday Activities into Soulful Practices" by Casper ter Kuile. It's due for a re-read from me. He talks about finding spirituality in an increasingly secular world. How do we still find spirituality and human community when we don't go to church? Is it in your cycling class or dance group? The meal that you share with your friends once a week? Do you celebrate the solstice? How do you prepare for seasons? Is there a book that you read every year? It's written by one of the podcasters who did "Reading Harry Potter Like a Sacred Text" in which they read the Harry Potter books line by line and drew out their own wisdom from it (and some of its big big problems!!) Do you have a book or series that you might read like you would a sacred text? For me it's anything by Becky Chambers.
Well, I guess I make the ordinary lean towards the sacred in the morning. Tea, in the dark, reading some pages with the dog snuggling close. A long quiet walk as soon as it is light enough, on the dirt roads with the quail (trying to avoid the coyotes). Home to feed the dog, fill all the bird feeders, scatter seed for the ground birds. Make the bed, tidy the house, scrabble up some lunch. Leave for work, giving the dog a treat in the way out. He lounges by the road, greeting passersby. I show up at our small school, as I have done for a very long time. Other parts of the year I work abroad, doing much different things, but I love coming home to our mornings.
At the end of each yoga class, I silently say thanks to God by placing my hands in prayer on my third eye, thanks to my teacher by putting my hands to my lips, and thanks to myself by putting my hands on my heart. Even when I am practicing at home I give thanks for my teachers. It’s been something I randomly came up with one day and now I have been doing it for years :)
Kimbeerrrrrrrr, that is beyond beautiful!! When I started going to liturgical churches, I loved how people would physically pray (touch) to invite the Gospel into their minds (forehead), in their words (lips), and in their heart (uh, heart). It made so much sense to *physically* pray...like, point God in the right direction haha! I'm going to borrow your yoga gesture; I just love it. And you! <3
I love that... pointing God in the right direction! That makes me want to learn more about liturgical practices. Of course, borrow it! Love you Mari and everything you do!
It sounds like you are a living ritual :) I'm thinking of comedian Stephen Colbert who insists that comedy is a spiritual practice: It transforms his pain into something funny, interesting, light, that can help people connect more deeply with their own pain. I am certain that's what you have done, even without fully knowing it.
Rituals were on my "in" list for 2024! My favorite one right now was born out of wanting a way to hold spiritual and emotional space for my clients (I'm a therapist) without actually ~thinking~ about them or ruminating on all the weird stuff I said to them that day. Every night I light a candle for all the clients I've worked with (even if only for a session or two) and for all the ones I've yet to meet. I usually say the Julian of Norwich prayer when I blow it out to remind myself of the goodness and love we're all held in ❤️
I devoted a whole chapter in my book to Julian!!! She is such a wise teacher! It sounds like you are an incredible therapist <3
Kirby, what a warm, kind ritual! While I’m not a therapist, I just love the idea of lighting candles for my clients. Thank you for sharing this!
I love this so much, Mari. I'm so grateful for your work. I created a ritual in the pandemic to remind me of the grace and possibility always here. I called it g.r.a.c.e. and each letter reminds me of what is most important. grounding in gratefulness, remembering the rainbow, attending to what is already & always available, centering in connection, and exhaling and embodying (total word nerd over here with the the alliteration). I also like to take 3 magic breaths while my hot water is warming up, and say a prayer while I whisk my matcha, open my heart when I open the windows in the morning, and feel the gifts my hands make possible when I wash them each day. In these little ways, everyday tasks become the ritual itself because I'm learning to trust that simply living is sacred, with or without the formal altars.💜
Oh Marissa, that is absolutely brilliant! WOW. Remembering the rainbow, how gorgeous. You sound like the most gentle-hearted sweet and grounded soul; I would love to bask in your presence some day. You've reminded me to resurrect a few old rituals I made while feeding the cat, doing the dishes, writing a card, filling my water bottle. Simple, sacred living. As Frederick Buechner said, "All of life is grace." <3
Oh my goodness, thank you for your response, Mari. I’m so honored to be seen that way, by you especially! I love that quote and I would love to bask in your joyful, radiant, generous presence someday, too. <3 Thank you for being who you are. You are a gift.
I love this and that you have your own tea!!! I cannot wait to try it.
My ritual involves tea too and I love every simple lovely step. Every morning I start the hot water, walk outside to the herb garden-sans shoes-and snip some fresh lemon balm. The washing, plucking the leaves with care into the French press, pouring of the hot water, picking my favorite mug, and adding a little honey all leaves me feeling fresh for the day.
I bring these up to my desk and write out my bullet journal shell for the day and by the time I’m finished, the tea is ready for me to enjoy. The drinking time folds right into my gratitude practice where I get to thank our gardens and bees and anyone/thing else on my heart that day. It’s brought so much peace to my life the last few months and as much as I love Fall I’m going to miss my barefoot mornings!
WHOA, I'm blown away by this evocative imagery: the barefoot shuffle, the ambrosial leaves, the plunging of the French press...you've transported me to somewhere so good and holy in the description of your every morning :) I'm feeling so much peace just hearing about the gardens and bees--thank you so much for that. I am such a barefoot enthusiast myself; I'd walk around everywhere without shoes if it were safe/socially acceptable/etc. My feet just love feeling the textures below. That is one absolutely wonderful thing about summer!!!
Thanks for this Mari. I've become so afraid of rituals as someone who grew up Catholic (iykyk) and suffered terribly with severe OCD. I suppose I do have some rituals like my daily morning movement. It looks different every day, but it's something i've been committed to for years. I'm curious, as you are also someone who has struggled with OCD, how do you keep the holy from becoming a mandate?
OHHHHHH wowww Caitlyn, I couldn't love this question more! GEEZ, that's such a good, important, fascinating point. I literally didn't even connect that I call my compulsions "rituals" (!!!). (Thought I DID connect how much religious bullhockey has interfered with the good ones :)
I am completely on this journey myself so I don't have an "answer," but a lot of the work I do with my therapist is pulling the threads of my mind apart in order to figure out what is ME, and what is OCD. When it's ME, the ritual grounds me in the present. It's an embodied feeling of centeredness and appreciation for the messy moment "that is." When it's OCD, it feels all mental, like I forget that I live in a body.
I experienced this just today; I was busy and didn't have time to go to the gym. Even though I exercise primarily for my mental wellness, I had that "OCD itch" because my brain wants me to exercise every day. But that's...my brain. My body had other plans: visiting my mom, taking a walk, doing some work that I cherish, taking a short nap, pausing for lunch, doing work that I DON'T cherish, and easing in and out of that. So, in that case, the exercise "ritual" would have taken me out of the present, rather than drop me in.
Obviously it's not always that clean-cut!!! I know I will likely struggle with this balance for the rest of my life, but I've noticed that the grounded, ME rituals really help suss out the OCD rituals :)
I really appreciate your response, Mari <3 This was extremely helpful. "I forget that I live in a body" is my default state. Thanks for helping me interrupt the constant chatter in my brain for a minute to question authentic versus OCD behavior.
Wow I love this. Right now my most consistent rituals are making my cup of drip coffee in the morning and taking in the morning light that flutters through the kitchen window. But I’m working on creating more consistency with my rituals, so they are able to become more generative and expansive - like you did with your creativity meditation ✨
I just came across a document that my stepdad wrote right before he died, about how he wanted to live intentionally in his final months. The big goal was to appreciate the light that came through the windows of his apartment. This is no small undertaking. You are doing so well at life.
Agree. Starting your day with a warm mug and good light is such a magical way to usher in the day ✨🌿
❤️❤️❤️ thank you
Mari, I think you would really love the book "The Power of Ritual: Turning Everyday Activities into Soulful Practices" by Casper ter Kuile. It's due for a re-read from me. He talks about finding spirituality in an increasingly secular world. How do we still find spirituality and human community when we don't go to church? Is it in your cycling class or dance group? The meal that you share with your friends once a week? Do you celebrate the solstice? How do you prepare for seasons? Is there a book that you read every year? It's written by one of the podcasters who did "Reading Harry Potter Like a Sacred Text" in which they read the Harry Potter books line by line and drew out their own wisdom from it (and some of its big big problems!!) Do you have a book or series that you might read like you would a sacred text? For me it's anything by Becky Chambers.
"Alchemizing the ordinary." !!! Whoa.
Well, I guess I make the ordinary lean towards the sacred in the morning. Tea, in the dark, reading some pages with the dog snuggling close. A long quiet walk as soon as it is light enough, on the dirt roads with the quail (trying to avoid the coyotes). Home to feed the dog, fill all the bird feeders, scatter seed for the ground birds. Make the bed, tidy the house, scrabble up some lunch. Leave for work, giving the dog a treat in the way out. He lounges by the road, greeting passersby. I show up at our small school, as I have done for a very long time. Other parts of the year I work abroad, doing much different things, but I love coming home to our mornings.
At the end of each yoga class, I silently say thanks to God by placing my hands in prayer on my third eye, thanks to my teacher by putting my hands to my lips, and thanks to myself by putting my hands on my heart. Even when I am practicing at home I give thanks for my teachers. It’s been something I randomly came up with one day and now I have been doing it for years :)
Kimbeerrrrrrrr, that is beyond beautiful!! When I started going to liturgical churches, I loved how people would physically pray (touch) to invite the Gospel into their minds (forehead), in their words (lips), and in their heart (uh, heart). It made so much sense to *physically* pray...like, point God in the right direction haha! I'm going to borrow your yoga gesture; I just love it. And you! <3
I love that... pointing God in the right direction! That makes me want to learn more about liturgical practices. Of course, borrow it! Love you Mari and everything you do!
Do I have I ever had a ritual in my life. I am 72 and asking what is a
Ritual. I have had a brutal life
Where i have turned brutality
Into learning into knowledge.
I believe I have used this knowledge too help other women. But have I ever had a ritual?
It sounds like you are a living ritual :) I'm thinking of comedian Stephen Colbert who insists that comedy is a spiritual practice: It transforms his pain into something funny, interesting, light, that can help people connect more deeply with their own pain. I am certain that's what you have done, even without fully knowing it.
How does one make a ritual
And what is a ritual?????