I loved this Mari. I always internally panic the second someone asks me to tell them about myself or my hobbies, but only recently have I realized that I actually DO have my things. It’s almost like they’re such a part of me that I forget that I can … say them? And they count? I loved your line “Maybe it’s like, how, when you have a crush, you never shut up about it. But when you’re deeply in love with someone, where do you even begin?”
Side note — I also fell in love with Spanish and have listened to podcasts, watched tv, been harassed by the duolingo owl, and somehow also read the sorcerers stone in Spanish 😂 (not French, but same idea). Other than living in a Spanish speaking area, I’d love to know what things have been the best for you in terms of learning!! I assume your Spanish teacher is a great resource :)
"And this is my key to sticking with something: the transformation from science into art."
Beautifully put, and this absolutely resonates with me. I've been struggling recently with trying to put my writing into a box, try to make it marketable, etc. It's really refreshing to think of it as an art again, something fluid and growing. I'm so glad to read that you've had this experience with learning Spanish, and I love how you mention thinking about what it would feel like to quit. Really puts things into perspective. Thanks so much for sharing :)
Hobbies are for enjoyment first, achievement next (if ever). I have found so much joy in taking biweekly guitar lessons for the past 5 years, even though I haven't gotten all that much better and have to recognize the Indigo Girls aren't going to ask me to guest-play Closer to Fine any time soon. Sticking with it has sometimes been hard, because struggling can be humbling, but some struggle is inevitable in any long-term relationship, and perseverance can bring such rich rewards.
Like being able to land your humor in another language: a major accomplishment! During my study abroad in Valencia approximately 286 years ago, I couldn't wait to know the language well enough to make jokes that sounded like me. But even as my lexicon and grammar knowledge grew, my wit stayed maddeningly monolingual and I felt like a muted, duller version of myself. I had such a transactional view of learning the language. Had I not been living in Spain, maybe I'd have given up, but I'm glad I didn't. The bigger learning is what learning a language offers: opportunities to connect, to explore, to stumble, to climb. I'd have missed so much! Today, my engagement with Spanish waxes and wanes, but we are still great friends, the kind who pick up where they left off pretty easily. (One of my favorite classes way back when, by the way, was the history of Spanish, including a journey into the Arabisms. I could have studied that FOREVER!)
I learned a lot from only this post of yours. And I feel confirmed and encouraged in my own journey and how I view the world. I am only just learning about love as more than romantic love. You speak about love in different contexts. I'd love to read more about "Love" from you ❤️
I love this so much. Your expressions really speak to me and I always find so much to relate to. You help me put words to my own experiences and make it feel so poetic at the same time.
The things that I keep coming back to are yoga, meditation and spiritual practices. I’m also putting the energy to properly learn my ancestral language, Macedonian. I also just keep pursuing these things, time and time again, break after break. I feel pressure to capitalise on all of my learnings (I’ve teacher trained in yoga and a few others) but part of me says it’s just for me and why? Why do I need to teach when I am just happy gong deep on my own.
Oh Mari, forgive me for quoting you but there were just far too many 💎💎💎 /// “The desire to squash a living-breathing-wild-beautiful thing into bullet points or a life hack or a pro tip.” “You can’t find much wonder in a living thing whose spirit is broken. And you can’t be in awe of creativity and want to dominate it at the same time.” “Maybe it’s like, how, when you have a crush, you never shut up about it. But when you’re deeply in love with someone, where do you even begin?”/// I quote because I feel these sentiments deep inside my hottest core YET they are precisely what lock me out of ever truly falling in love with a Thing. These spiritual entities know that I’ll get too rough like Lennie in Of Mice and Men. Maybe my Capricornian nature makes me too responsible to fall. Maybe my fear of rejection, abandonment, et. al. won’t let me get too close. But your experience here is beyond inspiring. I WANT to relinquish control. Perhaps there’s an aspect of Ojalá that also means “Let go and let God.” I’m ready to be carried away now.
I often think I haven’t yet found my thing… but I think I haven’t yet learned to fully appreciate the things I am able to enjoy and partake in just for me. The things I keep coming back to but take for granted could very well be my things. Thank you for your beautiful thoughts and for teaching me about Ojala, as someone who grew up saying Inshallah, I still say it even though Im not religious anymore because there are some circumstances where it is the only expression that will do. Thank you for sharing that, I love your art.
I fell in love with learning Spanish too. Sometimes I feel like it should have been Italian (those sounds), Arabic (wouldn’t that be cool) or Chinese but it happened with Spanish. I too feel the butterflies when I hear Spanish being spoken “in the wild”. Thanks voor describing this so beautifully. Extra excited for my visit to Spain this fall now.
I’ve been listening to Caro de Luna’s album Tiempo de Amar on repeat
¡Ojalá is one of my favourites! (I love Arabisms, and that's why I'll always defend "alberca" over "piscina"). But, well, I enjoyed this essay so much. It's a fantastic way to think that some things transform from science to art when you learn to love them. As in dancing, it is "easier" to think of those when you move your body (it happens to me with swimming).
I recommend this channel to practice your Spanish in the wrong way haha:
I relate to this love of language. For some unexplainable reason, I have loved the Mandarin Chinese language since I was a little girl. It’s just a part of me, influences how I see the world, and has led me to many adventures in my life. ❤️
Thanks for helping me realize that can be “a thing” that I can identify with! Among other “things” that feel so natural that it feels like it doesn’t count ;)
I loved this Mari. I always internally panic the second someone asks me to tell them about myself or my hobbies, but only recently have I realized that I actually DO have my things. It’s almost like they’re such a part of me that I forget that I can … say them? And they count? I loved your line “Maybe it’s like, how, when you have a crush, you never shut up about it. But when you’re deeply in love with someone, where do you even begin?”
Side note — I also fell in love with Spanish and have listened to podcasts, watched tv, been harassed by the duolingo owl, and somehow also read the sorcerers stone in Spanish 😂 (not French, but same idea). Other than living in a Spanish speaking area, I’d love to know what things have been the best for you in terms of learning!! I assume your Spanish teacher is a great resource :)
"And this is my key to sticking with something: the transformation from science into art."
Beautifully put, and this absolutely resonates with me. I've been struggling recently with trying to put my writing into a box, try to make it marketable, etc. It's really refreshing to think of it as an art again, something fluid and growing. I'm so glad to read that you've had this experience with learning Spanish, and I love how you mention thinking about what it would feel like to quit. Really puts things into perspective. Thanks so much for sharing :)
Hobbies are for enjoyment first, achievement next (if ever). I have found so much joy in taking biweekly guitar lessons for the past 5 years, even though I haven't gotten all that much better and have to recognize the Indigo Girls aren't going to ask me to guest-play Closer to Fine any time soon. Sticking with it has sometimes been hard, because struggling can be humbling, but some struggle is inevitable in any long-term relationship, and perseverance can bring such rich rewards.
Like being able to land your humor in another language: a major accomplishment! During my study abroad in Valencia approximately 286 years ago, I couldn't wait to know the language well enough to make jokes that sounded like me. But even as my lexicon and grammar knowledge grew, my wit stayed maddeningly monolingual and I felt like a muted, duller version of myself. I had such a transactional view of learning the language. Had I not been living in Spain, maybe I'd have given up, but I'm glad I didn't. The bigger learning is what learning a language offers: opportunities to connect, to explore, to stumble, to climb. I'd have missed so much! Today, my engagement with Spanish waxes and wanes, but we are still great friends, the kind who pick up where they left off pretty easily. (One of my favorite classes way back when, by the way, was the history of Spanish, including a journey into the Arabisms. I could have studied that FOREVER!)
I learned a lot from only this post of yours. And I feel confirmed and encouraged in my own journey and how I view the world. I am only just learning about love as more than romantic love. You speak about love in different contexts. I'd love to read more about "Love" from you ❤️
I love this so much. Your expressions really speak to me and I always find so much to relate to. You help me put words to my own experiences and make it feel so poetic at the same time.
The things that I keep coming back to are yoga, meditation and spiritual practices. I’m also putting the energy to properly learn my ancestral language, Macedonian. I also just keep pursuing these things, time and time again, break after break. I feel pressure to capitalise on all of my learnings (I’ve teacher trained in yoga and a few others) but part of me says it’s just for me and why? Why do I need to teach when I am just happy gong deep on my own.
I loved everything about this ❤️
Ojalá 💙
Oh Mari, forgive me for quoting you but there were just far too many 💎💎💎 /// “The desire to squash a living-breathing-wild-beautiful thing into bullet points or a life hack or a pro tip.” “You can’t find much wonder in a living thing whose spirit is broken. And you can’t be in awe of creativity and want to dominate it at the same time.” “Maybe it’s like, how, when you have a crush, you never shut up about it. But when you’re deeply in love with someone, where do you even begin?”/// I quote because I feel these sentiments deep inside my hottest core YET they are precisely what lock me out of ever truly falling in love with a Thing. These spiritual entities know that I’ll get too rough like Lennie in Of Mice and Men. Maybe my Capricornian nature makes me too responsible to fall. Maybe my fear of rejection, abandonment, et. al. won’t let me get too close. But your experience here is beyond inspiring. I WANT to relinquish control. Perhaps there’s an aspect of Ojalá that also means “Let go and let God.” I’m ready to be carried away now.
I often think I haven’t yet found my thing… but I think I haven’t yet learned to fully appreciate the things I am able to enjoy and partake in just for me. The things I keep coming back to but take for granted could very well be my things. Thank you for your beautiful thoughts and for teaching me about Ojala, as someone who grew up saying Inshallah, I still say it even though Im not religious anymore because there are some circumstances where it is the only expression that will do. Thank you for sharing that, I love your art.
You gave me vocabulary to describe things I have never been able to put words to. Dare I say, an art? Thank you ❤️
I loved reading this!
I fell in love with learning Spanish too. Sometimes I feel like it should have been Italian (those sounds), Arabic (wouldn’t that be cool) or Chinese but it happened with Spanish. I too feel the butterflies when I hear Spanish being spoken “in the wild”. Thanks voor describing this so beautifully. Extra excited for my visit to Spain this fall now.
I’ve been listening to Caro de Luna’s album Tiempo de Amar on repeat
¡Ojalá is one of my favourites! (I love Arabisms, and that's why I'll always defend "alberca" over "piscina"). But, well, I enjoyed this essay so much. It's a fantastic way to think that some things transform from science to art when you learn to love them. As in dancing, it is "easier" to think of those when you move your body (it happens to me with swimming).
I recommend this channel to practice your Spanish in the wrong way haha:
https://www.tiktok.com/@nochaveznada/video/7395022865797532934?lang=en
You may like this song.... ojalá que te guste
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JB8c9deYEfE
I relate to this love of language. For some unexplainable reason, I have loved the Mandarin Chinese language since I was a little girl. It’s just a part of me, influences how I see the world, and has led me to many adventures in my life. ❤️
Thanks for helping me realize that can be “a thing” that I can identify with! Among other “things” that feel so natural that it feels like it doesn’t count ;)
Me encantó!! Me identifiqué demasiado, te recomiendo leer el poema de “los amorosos” de Jaime Sabines.