Started reading the book Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach and today’s chapter I read is chapter three called The Sacred Pause: Resting Under the Bodhi Tree !!! And then this is your writing today after I just read that !!!
Thank you again Mari 💜 The concept of burn-out has indeed eroded becoming the container concept for all stress related symptoms it now is. It also becomes of less value to use for people like me who actually suffer from it. I can’t wait to physically heal and take a sacred pause before I emerge into RL again. I always use to call the proces of pausing as “I’m marinating”, knowing that the longer you marinate the better the final version will become
I told my husband in the car this afternoon, I think I'm burned out. But... In a slow growth period is probably more apt. I'm comfortable and satisfied in my career .. but I didn't get that promotion. I'm very content in my marriage with my family... and don't know whether I want children or not. I have stretch goals... but don't feel motivated towards them right now. I have been struggling with health issues... and they are literally making me pause! I'm highly competitive and have been racing towards the "top" my entire life. It's disorienting to stay quietly in place and appreciate what I have.
There's so much in this that resonates; about the way we (mis) use words, and potentially undermine those that are truly suffering. I made a significant lifestyle change in 2019 and describe myself as being 'on the verge of burnout'. I knew if I didn't make a change I would burnout. The biggest lesson for me was learning to slow down and surrender to the natural rhythms of life. Learning to ebb and flow with life rather than push and force everything. Thanks for this piece, it's great to have found your writing.
I am very much enjoying your writings, Mari. I agree with your reflection on burnout. Certainly, people do experience it (I think of young moms with new babies and very little sleep.) I am careful to be aware of not reaching that point. For example, when I was teaching, I did not teacher summer school because I really needed to restore my energy so that I could be the best for the students. I ended up teaching at a grade school level at a school with more than 50 per cent of the children coming from at or below the poverty level. This meant that I worked with students who had significant emotional needs. That takes a lot of energy on the part of the teacher. Burnout is a danger in the teaching profession. Luckily for me, I loved teaching and “my kids.” But for new, young teachers first entering the profession, it’s pretty tough. Long hours, working every evening and at least one of the weekend days. Some of the parents can make life tough so it’s easy to become discouraged. I’m sure this is true in other professions. (I only write about teaching because it is what I know.)
“Resting” is such a healthy thing to do for ourselves, to restore our energy, clear our minds, connect with ourselves. And yet, so many feel guilty for taking time for themselves. It’s imperative that we do rest for our own well being and to prevent burnout.
An aside, when I was lacking in creativity, I would take a walk. The outdoors, nature, just the repetitive motion helped clear my mind so that new ideas could be born. Maybe it will work for someone else.
I am now retired, but walking and retreats into nature have continued as an important part of my life. Essential in work life, essential for a good life.
Mari I’ve followed your words for years. Or rather, more accurately, have turned to them for solace and leant on them heavily on more than one occasion to help me through. I was having a conversation with my partner just yesterday about how “I guess I’m burnt-out”, but burnout didn’t fit. And then, ever fittingly, I woke up to your words in my inbox. I loved reading this. I’m also reading the book “Wintering” by Katherine May at the moment which also talks about the sacredness of rest and retreat. I don’t observe the religious traditions of Christmas or advent, but watching, and waiting, couldn’t have been more timely reminders. Thank you 🧡
Yes. "Not knowing" a next step is terrifying. I am so used to taking action that a pause feels incredibly uncomfortable for me. My nervous systems just goes haywire! It feels like an out of body experience, really, knowing that you don't fit in somewhere but not having a plan of what to do next. Do I need a break from working? Or do I just need to be working on something that "lights me up" (whatever that means)?
I'm very taken with this piece, partly because I'm a great believer in "stopping," which is related to taking a sacred pause. It's a gift to the self that creates the space needed to really experience where one is at. Sometimes what comes up when I pause is acutely uncomfortable but I recognize that there's self-knowledge there that wouldn't surface if I didn't give it time and space. I'm also very interested in your comments on language. Sometimes a word or phrase is overused to the point where it feels clumsy to speak it, but I'm reluctant to abandon it because of what it signifies. I feel that way about "the patriarchy," specifically with the definite article.
There is no competition more fierce than that against ourselves. If we can’t operate the way we used to, or the way we think we ought to... It’s the most insatiable hungry ghost. It’s taking me forever and a day to realize Pause isn’t just reserved for the night hours, but can span months, years even. It’s a terrible feeling to stumble around in the dark like this with no light in sight. I love your mention of Advent Season -- a vigilance can alchemize fear, despair, even apathy into cautious, but faithful anticipation. Such a worthy endeavor and practice!
The children engaged in conversation with a goose. I am here for the park lessons children provide of noticing and acting on their thoughts. As a teacher, I am regularly fascinated by the connections kids make to this world. I love the idea that a task at hand can be the only thing that exists. Moving from a broken mechanical pencil fix attempt, to a basketball game among friends, to following the pathway of some ants on a mission for fallen snack crumbs unswept from the day prior. All of which, momentary meditations, free of expectation, are just being.
I have found that changing my mode of creativity has fed it. If someone gave me a grape, clay, ribbon, and a frog, I'd have thoughts. Thoughts as cultivating. What is a new way to think? Or how are other people thinking? Cultivation, nourishment, fosterment, furtherment, mentment are the antithesis of my burnout.
For the longest time, instead of hitting pause I would hit mute on my remote. Instead of finding stillness, I would attempt to keep moving but fail to take in any of the beauty and wisdom life was sending my way. I agree, it's not the same as burnout, more of a creative apathy; a curiosity block. So here's to pressing pause; to actively waiting. Thank you for writing this, Mari! Glad I turned the volume up on this one.
I so appreciate your thoughts. Sometimes they mirror my own. As in the Sacred Pause. I came back to the States after living a purposeful, and fulfilling life abroad for 14 years. I thought I knew what I would do next, but COVID threw that into a tailspin, so I also am in the extended advent season. I have found times of peace in my through my faith during this time. I hope we both begin to emerge from our pauses this year!
Nobody is hiring me and I cannot do physically laborious jobs. I do have food and shelter, good food and shelter. It is weird. Alhamdulillah. Am
I being asked to trust that my husband’s income, among other things, will tide us through? That the unknown, will tide us through?
In my life, mostly everything is a sign and some form of sacred. Here is a supplication Moses made, “My Lord, I am in need of whatever good You would send to me.” And here is an interpretation:
Du'aa of Musa Alayhi Salaam when he absolutely had nothing. He was in a very desperate and impoverished situation. He was in the middle of nowhere in the desert, escaping from Firaun (Pharaoh). He was hungry, sleep deprived, homeless, and very vulnerable.
Yet He didnt ask for any comfort directly. He made this prayer; and asked Allah, for anything good that Allah sends him down.
He asked only Allah, and acknowledged that he is helpless and in extreme need of Allah's help. This sincere supplication was accepted by Allah, and Allah blessed him not only with provision but also a job & a wife. This is a powerful & accepted supplication.
Many a times, we don't know what we need at a particular phase in life, and we don't understand what we should ask Allah for. This prayer is a beautiful answer to that confusion.
Let Allah, bring the goodness you need in your life. Ask from Him. Rely on Him. And look how He knows what you need more than you know it for yourself. And when you admit your helplessness and dependency on Him, look how He grants you things beyond your expectations.
Hmm i didnt quite understand what mari is saying here. First she said, Sacred paise is natural because it’s the rhythm of life to stop once in a while like beats hibernate etc. then she compared this pause to a difficult yoga step where we should suffer until it ends?
I’m a teacher. My job is to try and motivate TikTok obsessed teens to put their screens down and focus on George Orwell’s contributions to society. I am usually exhausted by the end of the week/term. I love working with young people but sometimes, it feels like I’m pouring from an empty cup. Your words have really struck a chord with me.
“ Sometimes we need to take time off from what we’re doing, not because of burnout, but because that’s a natural rhythm of life: Bears hibernate, caterpillars decay in a cocoon, humans pause. I suspect it doesn’t have as much to do with capitalism as it does the human animal experience. Sometimes we need to take a step back. Sometimes we need to retreat.”
Started reading the book Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach and today’s chapter I read is chapter three called The Sacred Pause: Resting Under the Bodhi Tree !!! And then this is your writing today after I just read that !!!
Thank you again Mari 💜 The concept of burn-out has indeed eroded becoming the container concept for all stress related symptoms it now is. It also becomes of less value to use for people like me who actually suffer from it. I can’t wait to physically heal and take a sacred pause before I emerge into RL again. I always use to call the proces of pausing as “I’m marinating”, knowing that the longer you marinate the better the final version will become
I told my husband in the car this afternoon, I think I'm burned out. But... In a slow growth period is probably more apt. I'm comfortable and satisfied in my career .. but I didn't get that promotion. I'm very content in my marriage with my family... and don't know whether I want children or not. I have stretch goals... but don't feel motivated towards them right now. I have been struggling with health issues... and they are literally making me pause! I'm highly competitive and have been racing towards the "top" my entire life. It's disorienting to stay quietly in place and appreciate what I have.
There's so much in this that resonates; about the way we (mis) use words, and potentially undermine those that are truly suffering. I made a significant lifestyle change in 2019 and describe myself as being 'on the verge of burnout'. I knew if I didn't make a change I would burnout. The biggest lesson for me was learning to slow down and surrender to the natural rhythms of life. Learning to ebb and flow with life rather than push and force everything. Thanks for this piece, it's great to have found your writing.
I am very much enjoying your writings, Mari. I agree with your reflection on burnout. Certainly, people do experience it (I think of young moms with new babies and very little sleep.) I am careful to be aware of not reaching that point. For example, when I was teaching, I did not teacher summer school because I really needed to restore my energy so that I could be the best for the students. I ended up teaching at a grade school level at a school with more than 50 per cent of the children coming from at or below the poverty level. This meant that I worked with students who had significant emotional needs. That takes a lot of energy on the part of the teacher. Burnout is a danger in the teaching profession. Luckily for me, I loved teaching and “my kids.” But for new, young teachers first entering the profession, it’s pretty tough. Long hours, working every evening and at least one of the weekend days. Some of the parents can make life tough so it’s easy to become discouraged. I’m sure this is true in other professions. (I only write about teaching because it is what I know.)
“Resting” is such a healthy thing to do for ourselves, to restore our energy, clear our minds, connect with ourselves. And yet, so many feel guilty for taking time for themselves. It’s imperative that we do rest for our own well being and to prevent burnout.
An aside, when I was lacking in creativity, I would take a walk. The outdoors, nature, just the repetitive motion helped clear my mind so that new ideas could be born. Maybe it will work for someone else.
I am now retired, but walking and retreats into nature have continued as an important part of my life. Essential in work life, essential for a good life.
Mari I’ve followed your words for years. Or rather, more accurately, have turned to them for solace and leant on them heavily on more than one occasion to help me through. I was having a conversation with my partner just yesterday about how “I guess I’m burnt-out”, but burnout didn’t fit. And then, ever fittingly, I woke up to your words in my inbox. I loved reading this. I’m also reading the book “Wintering” by Katherine May at the moment which also talks about the sacredness of rest and retreat. I don’t observe the religious traditions of Christmas or advent, but watching, and waiting, couldn’t have been more timely reminders. Thank you 🧡
Yes. "Not knowing" a next step is terrifying. I am so used to taking action that a pause feels incredibly uncomfortable for me. My nervous systems just goes haywire! It feels like an out of body experience, really, knowing that you don't fit in somewhere but not having a plan of what to do next. Do I need a break from working? Or do I just need to be working on something that "lights me up" (whatever that means)?
I'm very taken with this piece, partly because I'm a great believer in "stopping," which is related to taking a sacred pause. It's a gift to the self that creates the space needed to really experience where one is at. Sometimes what comes up when I pause is acutely uncomfortable but I recognize that there's self-knowledge there that wouldn't surface if I didn't give it time and space. I'm also very interested in your comments on language. Sometimes a word or phrase is overused to the point where it feels clumsy to speak it, but I'm reluctant to abandon it because of what it signifies. I feel that way about "the patriarchy," specifically with the definite article.
There is no competition more fierce than that against ourselves. If we can’t operate the way we used to, or the way we think we ought to... It’s the most insatiable hungry ghost. It’s taking me forever and a day to realize Pause isn’t just reserved for the night hours, but can span months, years even. It’s a terrible feeling to stumble around in the dark like this with no light in sight. I love your mention of Advent Season -- a vigilance can alchemize fear, despair, even apathy into cautious, but faithful anticipation. Such a worthy endeavor and practice!
The children engaged in conversation with a goose. I am here for the park lessons children provide of noticing and acting on their thoughts. As a teacher, I am regularly fascinated by the connections kids make to this world. I love the idea that a task at hand can be the only thing that exists. Moving from a broken mechanical pencil fix attempt, to a basketball game among friends, to following the pathway of some ants on a mission for fallen snack crumbs unswept from the day prior. All of which, momentary meditations, free of expectation, are just being.
I have found that changing my mode of creativity has fed it. If someone gave me a grape, clay, ribbon, and a frog, I'd have thoughts. Thoughts as cultivating. What is a new way to think? Or how are other people thinking? Cultivation, nourishment, fosterment, furtherment, mentment are the antithesis of my burnout.
Ooh the goose interaction 🥹❤️
For the longest time, instead of hitting pause I would hit mute on my remote. Instead of finding stillness, I would attempt to keep moving but fail to take in any of the beauty and wisdom life was sending my way. I agree, it's not the same as burnout, more of a creative apathy; a curiosity block. So here's to pressing pause; to actively waiting. Thank you for writing this, Mari! Glad I turned the volume up on this one.
I so appreciate your thoughts. Sometimes they mirror my own. As in the Sacred Pause. I came back to the States after living a purposeful, and fulfilling life abroad for 14 years. I thought I knew what I would do next, but COVID threw that into a tailspin, so I also am in the extended advent season. I have found times of peace in my through my faith during this time. I hope we both begin to emerge from our pauses this year!
I am in some form of forced pause. Idk.
Nobody is hiring me and I cannot do physically laborious jobs. I do have food and shelter, good food and shelter. It is weird. Alhamdulillah. Am
I being asked to trust that my husband’s income, among other things, will tide us through? That the unknown, will tide us through?
In my life, mostly everything is a sign and some form of sacred. Here is a supplication Moses made, “My Lord, I am in need of whatever good You would send to me.” And here is an interpretation:
Du'aa of Musa Alayhi Salaam when he absolutely had nothing. He was in a very desperate and impoverished situation. He was in the middle of nowhere in the desert, escaping from Firaun (Pharaoh). He was hungry, sleep deprived, homeless, and very vulnerable.
Yet He didnt ask for any comfort directly. He made this prayer; and asked Allah, for anything good that Allah sends him down.
He asked only Allah, and acknowledged that he is helpless and in extreme need of Allah's help. This sincere supplication was accepted by Allah, and Allah blessed him not only with provision but also a job & a wife. This is a powerful & accepted supplication.
Many a times, we don't know what we need at a particular phase in life, and we don't understand what we should ask Allah for. This prayer is a beautiful answer to that confusion.
Let Allah, bring the goodness you need in your life. Ask from Him. Rely on Him. And look how He knows what you need more than you know it for yourself. And when you admit your helplessness and dependency on Him, look how He grants you things beyond your expectations.
Hmm i didnt quite understand what mari is saying here. First she said, Sacred paise is natural because it’s the rhythm of life to stop once in a while like beats hibernate etc. then she compared this pause to a difficult yoga step where we should suffer until it ends?
I’m a teacher. My job is to try and motivate TikTok obsessed teens to put their screens down and focus on George Orwell’s contributions to society. I am usually exhausted by the end of the week/term. I love working with young people but sometimes, it feels like I’m pouring from an empty cup. Your words have really struck a chord with me.
“ Sometimes we need to take time off from what we’re doing, not because of burnout, but because that’s a natural rhythm of life: Bears hibernate, caterpillars decay in a cocoon, humans pause. I suspect it doesn’t have as much to do with capitalism as it does the human animal experience. Sometimes we need to take a step back. Sometimes we need to retreat.”