My mind is swirling after reading this! 1. Society’s current urge to label every divergent disorder and then publicize their symptoms (especially those that are either hidden from view or simply “masked” to function in a neuro-typical world). We now finally have ways to feel seen, aka believed! 2. The Story of Doubting Thomas and Jesus’ paradoxical line: “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.” Plus!!! The Caravaggio painting where Thomas’s finger is really plunged into that wound, begging us to go the extra mile to analyze our faith in whatever way we see fit, getting our hands dirty if we need to (and I like this a lot better than blind faith that turns a blind eye to the very human struggle of silent/invisible suffering…reference 1.). 3. My husband has been hilariously obsessed with the Bezos Blue Origin conspiracy, sending me IG reels proving it’s a hoax, which, to me, is just one of many indicators (in this AI world we now live in) that Science is just as fanatical as Evangelical Christianity. (Would taking a public stand on whether or not I believe they flew to space make me a True Believer in Science??) 4. Because of certain events that have recently happened to me, I might now believe in a Purgatory where troubled people have to successfully launch a project that fixes something here on our earthly plane in order to advance to their next better life. This sounds like a child’s bedtime story to my typically Pro-Science brain but I find myself wanting to believe in it. I think I might even have proof! But while I’m willing to shove my finger a little deeper to find out, I’m also cool with letting it be a fascinating myth that helps me touch the void, visualize the invisible, see the silent, empathize with the empaths. And I dare say this nuanced approach is the only way to, as you so lovingly stated, “advocate for comfort in a world that doubts the universal need for it.”
Ok ok ok ugh why did I check comments a minute before I have to go volunteer-dog-walk (I put the "volunteer" in not as a flex but as a commitment to my identity as a Cat Individual)--ten billion things to say but I've been thinking about that Purgatory concept myself!!! Not as eloquently-articulated, but strongly felt!!
So relatable, as always! I've had a hard time advocating for my needs for as long as I can remember. Most recently, I had to submit a reasonable accommodation at work to continue working from home. My disability is invisible, and it felt so uncomfortable making that request knowing that my boss would have to trust me that I need it. I do wish we didn't need visible proof to get our needs met without guilt. I think it's also part of our capitalist, glorifying-the-grind society that we don't think rest is valid unless you have an excuse.
You hit the nail on the head--you're at the mercy of other people trusting you even though they have no obvious reason to do so. It's such a vulnerable position! And many times it's easier to just suffer in silence, alas! I'm so glad you did that for yourself, even if it was (sadly!!!) uncomfortable to do so :(
Congrats, Mari! You’re one of my favorite people to read, but I think I tell you that every time. I don’t know if you remember, but when I was encountering some of the hardest griefs of hospital rooms for my newborn baby, you mentioned several things about your time in hospital work.
It was an area that felt SO foreign to me but now is very familiar.
I know we’re just internet friends, but I’ve weathered the gamut when it comes to pregnancy, birth, and life with tiny people around you 24/7. If you want to ask absurd questions (or non-absurd ones), I’m here for ya. And I see you, pregnant Mari. The pregnancy card can definitely stretch (pun intended;)) as far as you need it to…
This is one of those writings that I will mull over for weeks. So much wisdom. Words that will shift hearts no doubt. Thank you. 💕
🫶🏼✨🥰 Very touching, thank you Mari
My mind is swirling after reading this! 1. Society’s current urge to label every divergent disorder and then publicize their symptoms (especially those that are either hidden from view or simply “masked” to function in a neuro-typical world). We now finally have ways to feel seen, aka believed! 2. The Story of Doubting Thomas and Jesus’ paradoxical line: “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.” Plus!!! The Caravaggio painting where Thomas’s finger is really plunged into that wound, begging us to go the extra mile to analyze our faith in whatever way we see fit, getting our hands dirty if we need to (and I like this a lot better than blind faith that turns a blind eye to the very human struggle of silent/invisible suffering…reference 1.). 3. My husband has been hilariously obsessed with the Bezos Blue Origin conspiracy, sending me IG reels proving it’s a hoax, which, to me, is just one of many indicators (in this AI world we now live in) that Science is just as fanatical as Evangelical Christianity. (Would taking a public stand on whether or not I believe they flew to space make me a True Believer in Science??) 4. Because of certain events that have recently happened to me, I might now believe in a Purgatory where troubled people have to successfully launch a project that fixes something here on our earthly plane in order to advance to their next better life. This sounds like a child’s bedtime story to my typically Pro-Science brain but I find myself wanting to believe in it. I think I might even have proof! But while I’m willing to shove my finger a little deeper to find out, I’m also cool with letting it be a fascinating myth that helps me touch the void, visualize the invisible, see the silent, empathize with the empaths. And I dare say this nuanced approach is the only way to, as you so lovingly stated, “advocate for comfort in a world that doubts the universal need for it.”
/TedTalk, aka late night kitchen island chat.
Ok ok ok ugh why did I check comments a minute before I have to go volunteer-dog-walk (I put the "volunteer" in not as a flex but as a commitment to my identity as a Cat Individual)--ten billion things to say but I've been thinking about that Purgatory concept myself!!! Not as eloquently-articulated, but strongly felt!!
So relatable, as always! I've had a hard time advocating for my needs for as long as I can remember. Most recently, I had to submit a reasonable accommodation at work to continue working from home. My disability is invisible, and it felt so uncomfortable making that request knowing that my boss would have to trust me that I need it. I do wish we didn't need visible proof to get our needs met without guilt. I think it's also part of our capitalist, glorifying-the-grind society that we don't think rest is valid unless you have an excuse.
You hit the nail on the head--you're at the mercy of other people trusting you even though they have no obvious reason to do so. It's such a vulnerable position! And many times it's easier to just suffer in silence, alas! I'm so glad you did that for yourself, even if it was (sadly!!!) uncomfortable to do so :(
Congrats, Mari! You’re one of my favorite people to read, but I think I tell you that every time. I don’t know if you remember, but when I was encountering some of the hardest griefs of hospital rooms for my newborn baby, you mentioned several things about your time in hospital work.
It was an area that felt SO foreign to me but now is very familiar.
I know we’re just internet friends, but I’ve weathered the gamut when it comes to pregnancy, birth, and life with tiny people around you 24/7. If you want to ask absurd questions (or non-absurd ones), I’m here for ya. And I see you, pregnant Mari. The pregnancy card can definitely stretch (pun intended;)) as far as you need it to…
Ahhh I so appreciate the here-ness and the see-ing, dear Julie!!!!